Polyamory and Communication

[beandelphiki]

So evidently, things were not going quite as well as I thought they were. Mer...should probably not say too much.

But one of my primary concerns when this started was that NOBODY felt neglected, and maybe I lost sight of that because it seemed okay for such a stretch.

Been thinking about communication and how far away I am, and how I depend on what I'm told...and that I have to believe that if I'm told it's okay, it's okay. And if it's not, I'll be told that too.

And thinking about how words mean so much to me, and how confusing it would be to be told that something I was told earlier wasn't even true at the time. Which wouldn't make sense to me.

Not saying that was the situation. It was just a thought.

Comments

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

Did you get my blurty comment that I forgot I have to go to the gym???
:((((
I'm sorry... I keep forgetting the gym.

And...
maybe you and haleth could chat more.
Maybe that would help... I mean... with the communication and all.

I'm feeling uber-stressed today. Probably because I'm supposed to have gone to the school, like, over an hour ago, but have been stalling. Plus, I've spent an entire weekend trying to stress myself out.

Hm.. maybe that wasn't the best way to spend a weekend.

But... I promise I will tell you plainly anything that I can, ok? Anything that is relevant to us.
I wish we could chat tonight... or tomorrow... or even before Friday.

*wonders if Herb is still sick*
*but... hopes he isn't.. um.. really*

*hugs and snugs*
*love*
me

p.s.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

Don't mean to be whiny... but...
I blame myself completely for this and am rectifying the situation.
This is... if you look things up and read about our situation... MY responsibility.
No one elses. Honestly... that's just the way things ARE, in situations like ours.
The fulcrum... so to speak, has the responsibility. All of it.

And... I'm new at this. And... I've been trying.
I just didn't do a good enough job at my trying... but now I have.
Now I've figured out what was happenning and communicated it to everyone concerned, and have worked out ways to rectify the situation.
So... please don't shoulder any of the blame for this, ok?
It's on me... I know it's on me... and I'm taking the proper steps to help everyone feel comfortable again.

*can't wait until that book gets here*
*um.. the one that's on special order*
*that's about this*
*...might help*
**shrugs**
**kiss**

Re: p.s.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

now I gotta go to that school.
*shakes*

Re: p.s.

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure why I have such a problem with this. The comment thing, I mean. I guess I should think about it more.

Although...I was afraid yesterday that if I replied to this we'd be going back and forth in comments on who's responsibility/fault it was. Ugh.

Anyway...this seems to be a bad day to try commenting better, given that I'm going to be spending half of it in a theatre nowhere near a comp, listening to a presentation on how not to drop a light on someone's head from 40 feet up. (Kidding...)

So...I thought I'd say some stuff that I always forget to bring up in chat.

1) The eyes on my icon (the one my sister drew) are like that because they're kinda anime. Not really, but kinda. My sister was (and is still) hugely into anime when she drew this...practically everything she draws has that influence.

2)Um...oh, yeah. If there's theatre abbreviations that I'm using that you don't understand, just ask and I'll explain 'em.

3) Does haleth get comments by email, or should I alert her if there's something I want her to see?

I guess that's all I can come up with at the moment.

Oh....yeah. Can't chat tonight, regardless of Herb's condition. I really need to sleep. Mom flipped on me again this morning because she is starting to have to pound on my door for almost 45 minutes every morning before I wake up.

Okay. Gotta go now.

*smooch* *snoggle*
*love*
(F)

Re: p.s.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

*smooch*

ok on the commenting. I really don't want you to have to be running back and forth to a lab or anything. Just... if you happen to be in the area.

Oh, and if there's something that you don't want to comment back and forth about... maybe you could. write... *nods* maybe we can discuss this more in chat or something... just a thought.

*hugs you and kisses you*

1) that's cool about the picture. Although... I'm kinda scared to meet your sister, now, given what you've said about her trying to embarrass you and all. Not scared for me... just, that I'll give her a lot of "ammunition" for the future... Maybe... um.. and this sounds kinda stupid... but maybe I shouldn't meet her at all? Or she should never know about me?
I'm kinda afraid that she'll say something to your dad and get him all pissed, or something... um.. y'know? *holds you*

2) Ok I will. I do get a lot of them, because I tried to read up on the subject a little in the past... um... *cough*notastalker*cough**cough*

3) Yah, she does, as far as I know. She's um.... not really any better at commenting back as.. um.. other people. ;)

Oh, and cool on the chat. I really need to hit the gym, bad. Sorry about your mom..
Um... probably can't chat again until Friday, I think. Because of the gym. I'm sad about that... but ok in a way, because I don't want to shortchange your school or your homework.

*holds you close*
*kisses you tenderly*
*nuzzles your neck*
*melts on you*
*licks your kitty arm*

oh!
surray...
;)

I love you (L)
me

Why?

[haleth.livejournal.com]

3) Does haleth get comments by email, or should I alert her if there's something I want her to see?

I get comments in email, if they're addressed to me. Have I missed commenting on something I should have? :-O

(((Dan)))

Re: Why?

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

Naw. Just...if I got back to something late, I'd want to know if you would get it or not.

[griffen.livejournal.com]

*hug hug hug hug hug hug hug* Yes. I understand this *completely*, believe me.

Oh honey

[haleth.livejournal.com]

It's not you. Really. This is same issue we've pretty much always had. It comes up once in a while. That it came up again with you in the picture doesn't reflect on you at all... maybe your relationship with Frank points up our issues more clearly than we would have seen them otherwise, but they're our issues. Not caused by you. Not that they won't impact you, maybe they will - but I won't have you feeling guilty over them. I think I should thank you, actually, because I think because of you we're more motivated to work through stuff more effectively than we have before. ((((Dan)))) Message me any time you want to talk, OK?

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

Dear Dan,
Turns out that Herb is still sick today... so...
are we still on for tonight??

Might be a good time to hash some things out.
um..
*snogs*

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

Ok. Good. *smooch*

*goes to nap*