beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] Wellll...:))
For anyone who has not yet seen that video of Susan Boyle singing on "Britain's Got Talent."

Don't give up on those dreams, guys. This woman is 47 - that's an awfully long wait to get your dream. But I think it must have been worth the wait just to see the audience give her a standing ovation on the fourth lyric.

P.S. If you just want the audio, I've ripped it to an MP3. Let me know if you try to download it and run into trouble.

Sound quality is the best I could manage. It's the audio for the ENTIRE above video, so if you just want her singing, you'll have to crop it yourself. The only sound mixing program I had on my comp was free, and it ran out earlier this year. You can probably find a free sound mixing program to download yourself though, if you look.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] never give in and NEVER give up)
If you watch only one video online this week, let it be this one:

"How It All Ends" - a video explaining what we should do about global climate change (a.k.a. "global warming") from the perspective of risk management.

It's only 10 minutes long, and I like it because it reflects my own thoughts on the issue.

But if you have a bit more time (say...3 hours), you might want to also watch this BBC series, "The Climate Wars":

The Climate Wars: Battle Begins

This first episode explores the history of the discovery of global warming, up to the present day.

The Climate Wars: Fight Back

This episode covers the skeptic's arguments against global warming, including the Medieval Warm Period, the unreliability of the surface record, and sunspots.

(Pay particular attention to the last ten minutes.)

The Climate Wars: Fight for the Future

This episode covers the question of just how much of a problem global warming really is. It repeats stuff from earlier in the series, but goes into more detail.

Seriously guys, if you have it! It's incredibly interesting.

(And if you need a shallow, the presenter has a Scottish accent?)

beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (LJ/Houseism - no personal life)
This got me so good I actually cried.

I forgot about April Fool's. I'm relieved as fuck that this is a joke because really - don't even get me started on how much I hate Twitter. If I wanted to read every 140-character brain fart my friends had all day long, I'd sign up for it. But I don't.

The sad thing is that this was so completely believable that it's hard to understand why they'd even play this for laughs.

It's NOT funny.

At all.

Edit: Oh yeah, and all the people who apparently think automatic cuts would be a good idea are just blowing my mind.

Man, [ profile] news is always so fucking charming to read. Well, as much as you "read" threads full of image macros and people competing to see who can convince their own autonomic nervous system to fail due to lack of interest in any stimulation.


Mar. 23rd, 2009 05:51 pm
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (not cynical - things suck)

Our version of Microsoft didn't pass the WGA validation.

On the brand-new computer.

Mom is going to be so fucking pissed.


Mar. 19th, 2009 10:33 am
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (make it stop)
*deep breath*

I really wish people would just rent a laptop and book a study room when they need to do a group project on a computer.

I guess that's not really fair - college students can't go throwing money around, even if it's not much to rent a laptop - but how did I end up sitting across from the three loudest girls in the room, working on a project? And the loudest one has a new tongue stud, or braces, or SOMETHING, because she sounds like she has marbles in her mouth.

Also, my wrist hurts. And the keys on the computers in the lab are so old and sticky you practically need to smack each one with a mallet.

Maybe I should go rent a laptop.

Edit: The lab monitor just told them to shut up. HEE.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (whoa!)
I decided to finally make a Delicious account.

When I did, the site prompted me to add the Firefox Delicious add-on. I figured okay, that'll add a Delicious button to my toolbar. Sure! So I did.

It added three buttons to my toolbar.

It also added three buttons to my status bar, a sidebar which immediately opened and pinned itself, another toolbar and a Delicious-specific menu.


*backs slowly away from his computer*

I don't think I'm ready for this age.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (busy here - thinking)
So we finally, FINALLY got our new computer all set up!

(Well, almost. It's lacking a lot of our old programs, like Photoshop and the Windows Office suite. WTF is "OpenOffice"? I don't want compatibility problems with school files, given that all the school computers use the newest versions of Windows Office programs. Will have to rectify this state of affairs soon.)

BUT. Finally, my mother, my sister and I are no longer frantically juggling a single free gig of space between the three of us. Our new computer has about 250 gigs, and our new external hard drive has twice that. We shall never run out of space again! Ha-HA!

So... What I SHOULD be doing is schoolwork, but naturally what I AM doing is playing with Firefox add-ons, since I can finally put Firefox on our computer. (And this eliminates the need to download Orbit Downloader. Which Mom and my sister have been endlessly complaining about, since they don't know how useful it is or how to use it. And they can't be bothered to learn.)

Babbling about my favourite add-ons thus far, which will probably make no sense to you if you use IE )

Besides all that messing with the internet, I've also been trying to get my iPod set up on our new computer.

Easier said than done. I have it set up for use as an external drive, i.e. it doesn't sync my files. I manually move them on to my iPod. Earlier this was helpful, since it meant that I didn't have to take up our precious free space with music. But it does mean that if anything ever happens to my iPod, I loose ALL my music in one fell swoop.

So I'm trying to put the files onto the new computer. Only, there's not really any way to do that. If I go ahead and sync it, it will just erase all the files from my iPod. Suck.

Previously, I noticed the option to "transfer purchases" FROM an iPod TO a computer. So I just put absolutely everything on my iPod into the "Purchased" playlist. And when I hooked it up today, I told it to transfer purchases.

But ah, no. You see, iTunes is too smart for me!

It transferred purchases. And ONLY purchases. As in, stuff I've actually purchased from the iTunes Store. Which is about 3/10ths of my collection. Everything else - I can't sync it, and I can't transfer it. ARGH.

I can, if need be, re-burn several thousand songs from my CDs again. If I have to. (GAH.) But not everything on my iPod is from a CD. Some of it is just stuff from around the intarwebs. I have no idea how I'm going to get this stuff onto our computer.

Apple, I HATE you! How fucking hard would it be to make it possible to transfer files from an iPod?

(Please don't tell me to buy a non-Apple MP3 player. I have a black/blue 4GB Creative Zen V. It sucks massively, and tech support for Creative products is basically non-existent.)

Change is necessary; but it can be such a serious pain in the ass.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] just breathe)
A few months ago, a couple of people out there on the intarwebs (namely Maymay and Sara/Eileen, who is no longer blogging there this year) were frustrated with the lack of porn and artwork of sexually submissive they decided to create a website to address that.

Male Submission Art (NSFW) is that site, a site for photographs, artwork and the occasional video featuring male submission (gay and straight). If you'd be interested in that sort of thing you should check it out. They're open to contributions, so long as those contributions follow their guidelines.

Here's a sample (I'd link, but I haven't figured out how to link individual entries):

Behind this cut is a nekkid man tied up! ...Uh, also NSFW, obviously )

Obviously, I think this is a really neat idea, as there IS a serious dearth of male submission art (or porn) out there. If you feel similarly and think you've got any art or photos saved that would fit this site, do feel free to pass them along. As well as the link to this site to other parties who may be interested.

(Also there is an lj feed: [ profile] malesubart.)
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (ewww!)
My mother and her two sisters on are a 6-star cruise this week (which my multi-millionaire grandfather financed - no effing way my immediate family could afford to bed down with the rats on something barely afloat, let alone a 6-star cruise), so I'm currently staying in my aunt's apartment to cat-sit for her. (She has three cats like we do.)

Mostly, it's pretty awesome. True, the cats DO wake me up at 7:30 every morning to get fed -but I'm living with that. I have access to a sweet laptop with wireless internet access, my own kitchen, and the entire place ENTIRELY to myself. Well, and the cats. (I accidentally got the "," key on the laptop caught in the spirals of my notebook and it's still slightly crooked, plus I seem to have gotten her lounge chair stuck in a reclined position. Oops. But I DID clean out her laundry corner for her and organized her disastrous cabinets, so maybe it evens out?)

The best thing is, I'm a ten-minute walk away from the school! I can run over and grab myself munchies or whatever anytime the stuff in the apartment isn't enough to sustain me.

Which I might have to. Because all my aunt has in the fridge by way of drinking material is booze and Coke Zero.

And I just discovered why they call it Coke Zero:


...I might have to drink the BUD. Jesus.

Well, yes, I do have filtered water. But sheesh, I shouldn't have to resort to something actually hydrating.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] WINTER TIEM NAO)
Hey guys, a heads up:

There are apparently a bunch of hackers going around hitting large communities. If you have large communities on your list, stay alert for:

  • posts which have comments turned off
  • posts which are worded cryptically and contain several links
  • anything else that looks suspicious

Don't click any links you don't recognise! They could be viruses.

More info here, with a screencap example of what these posts look like.

Be careful.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] Ten & Donna - come on!)
Way back in, oh, November, a [radical? I think] feminist blogger on Wordpress who goes by the moniker Nine Deuce posted a series which she called, "BDSM (the sexual equivalent of being into renaissance faires)."

It's a deeply insulting series of posts. (Both to BDSM practitioners AND people into Renaissance Faires!) She basically condemns all kink with the accusation that it is merely misogyny writ large and in PVC shirts (okay, the PVC clothes ARE kind of stupid), and claims that there is NO way to eroticise power or pain which is not unhealthy and hateful towards women.

[Women, because she focuses almost entirely on M/f relationships - that is, male dominants/tops and female submissives/bottoms. This is pretty typical of "feminist deconstructions" of BDSM, because they will ALL claim that nearly all BDSM is M/f. Relationships which are F/m are generally ignored or dismissed with the notion that the men in these relationships are all taking on some sort of "feminine" role (not necessarily true, and not necessarily bad - OH NOES, a feminine male! but nevermind), and the assertion that F/m relationships are a "mirror image" of patriarchy and therefore don't need to be talked about because they're the same thing anyway. Which is the laziest critical examination ever.]

And, well, when the kinky blogosphere got a hold of was derided, of course. But mostly, people were really annoyed and offended. Argument broke out in the comments between the radical feminists and the kinksters, and it has been going on ever since.

I guess you can probably tell what side I'm on. Mark my words, some of the things the kinky people have said in the comments have made me cringe at how thoughtless they were. Some of those comments, no mistake, definitely hold up some observations about sexism in the BDSM community. (But then, what community ISN'T sexist...?) There's no doubt - and you'll never hear me claim otherwise - that there isn't a lot of stuff called, "BDSM," which is deeply disturbing.

For the most part though, the comments from the radical feminists have been reactionary, extreme and devoid of any nuance. (The best part? Someone who commented to one of the posts in the series to say that she wasn't able to keep reading the comments when (emphasis mine), "the torturers started talking amongst themselves." LOLWHUT.) They have turned down all offers to discuss the matter elsewhere, to look and see the sorts of conversations kinky people have amongst themselves about EXACTLY these issues, etc. They've dug through other people's kink-related blogs to find things they find "nasty" to drag back to show off. It's ugly.

Not too many people are really trying to discuss the issue in a genuinely thoughtful way. Basically, it's just a whole lot of people shouting past each other. "How DISGUSTING. How APPALLING. What about the CHILDREN! You people make me sick! YOU'RE JUST LIKE THE NAZIS!!1" (Yes, really. It's in there somewhere. God knows where - after hundreds of comments, you lose track.)

The kinky people haven't exactly kept their cool, either (there's been a lot of, "STFU!" from the kinky side, but then - that tends to be most people's reaction, I'd think, to being told over and over you're sick and dangerous).

It's just a big mess.

So why would I comment there?

I'm not sure why I did. Maybe because I've been yearning lately to be more openly honest about some of the things I've figured out about my own sexuality. Maybe because I've had interactions with some of the kinky people in the comments in the past, and they have always struck me as good, sane, thoughtful people.

Maybe I just wanted to post and say, Look, I'm just human too. I don't feel like some of these people can look at someone kinky and genuinely see their humanity. They just see some people who are brainwashed victims, and some people who are scary and dangerous predators.

They don't see the respect kinky people have expressed for their partners, and they don't see the love.

So I outed myself.

I posted this to Nine Deuce's follow-up post, "A Question for Doms," in which she asked dominants and tops (read: sadists) what the appeal of it is. I wanted to save this here for my own records. What follows may be more than anyone EVER wanted to know about me, so click at your own risk. If you see this post and want to comment on anything ABOVE the cut without reading this, I'm totally not offended.

This may be textually NSFW )
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] obligatory specs icon)
Holy fuck, am I ever tired.

I fruitlessly stayed up most of last night to do homework (I really should have just gone to bed, since I didn't do that much work); and tonight I REALLY have to stay up to finish a chem lab write-up on spectroscopy and the prelab for tomorrow.

(Worrisome news: I just heard from someone in my biology lab that a guy in a chem 1201 section - who got this lab write-up marked a week ahead of my section - wrote 14 pages for the spectroscopy lab and barely got a 60%. Ugh, do they want it written in blood? We like, looked at four emission spectra, got a spectrometer demonstration, and burned some metal chloride salt crystals to see their flame color. That's it.)

I'm reading about the use of spectroscopy in astronomy (actually pretty damn cool), and I just read, "Canis Majoris, a young, extremely massive hot star in the Big Dog constellation," as, "Canis Majoris, a young, extremely massive hot star in the Big Dong constellation[...]"

And blinked, and rubbed my eyes. Er, what? Oh my lord, I clearly have such a dirty mind.

On the flip side, I was writing something more private the other day about a strong kink of mine, and, without thinking much about it, described it as, "the carbon atom" of my libido. (Without it, not so many options. With it? Graphite, diamond, carbon nanotubes!)

...Please send help.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (*facepalm*)
Doing some more Calibrated Peer Reviews.

Seriously, I could CRY. On our last round, two out of three essays I marked were terrible. This round (writing a lab report introduction from a provided procedure/materials/results write-up) also seems to be following that pattern - the last one I marked was SO bad I was forced to flunk it. It's the first one I've actually flunked. And the one I'm looking at now isn't much better - if it actually isn't worse.

*skims*'s worse. Jesus. HOW are these people ever going to work in a laboratory if they can't bloody read basic instructions?! E.g. DON'T put the procedure in a lab report introduction! Both have! Neither have a hypothesis! Both re-state the results! Which, obviously, are already IN the "results" section of this hypothetical report.

And neither paper so far has been able to follow APA format - holy fuck, the one I'm looking at now cites one source as, "Adobe Acrobat file." OMFG.

Why can't I just write, "You've got to be fucking kidding me," on these? Because I really, really want to.

...I don't drink, so I can't drink heavily to get through this. Maybe I'll deal by going and looking for some pr0n again. Even if it's bad, it's bound to be better than THIS.

Also, my image host appears to have been abducted by aliens. Like, the site isn't even there anymore. Buh? Possibly they just had a major server crash or something, but if it's not back in a day or so, I guess I'll be re-uploading everything somewhere else.

Does Scrapbook actually work for mood icons? Since I'm paid up for a while, I might as well take advantage of it if it'll work.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] never give in and NEVER give up)
I struggle.

I fail. A lot.

I break promises. Say I will. Don't.

And I lie. About the failures, the promises, what I can, what I can't, where I was and what I'll be.

Somehow, I don't think of myself as a liar. My whole life is a lie, but me? I'm honest. As honest as someone can be who never tells the truth.

I'm bone-tired of it.

Don't like the failures, my broken word, all the lies and all the people I let down. I let everybody down. Every day, in some way big or small, I let someone down. Every day.

I don't have many friends. I used to have dozens of people I'd have called a friend. Dozens of people to spend time with. I don't now. People gather, and I leave.

I think it's better that way.

This would all be easier if I truly believed anything would ever change or feel less impossible. I think I could tackle each day a little better if I thought that at some point in the near future, every twenty-four hours would no longer be Everest.

Doing my laundry is exhausting, and if I could make that into a unit to measure things with, every day seems to have more loads of laundry than I could ever wash in a week.

I don't understand other people. Every day makes me want to cry, just a little.

Not because I'm sad, really. Because I'm tired. Why is life so tiring? Does it ever, ever end? Because I don't think it does.

That's the kind of thing that makes you wonder why you're still trying, then.

It's like this:

Someone once asked me on an anonymous comment meme to explain why I identify with both Dr. Gregory House and the Doctor. An understandable question, since they're so different. I meant to answer -

- I always mean to -

- but I couldn't explain why.

Last night, I thought, Look: They both run away.

And: But I want to stay.

So this is where I live:

I struggle.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (I'm on SPEEED!)
I'm sitting in a computer lab right now taking notes off a PowerPoint (oh god, horribly behind AGAIN - how does this HAPPEN??!), and I'm listening to the sound of typing happening all around me, and I had to stop to type myself. I don't really have anything TO type as of yet, but I felt the very desperate NEED to type something. So I am.

I think this, more than anything, demonstrates that typing has become my primary mode of written expression. Years ago, I would have been more likely to be typing and would have felt the desperate need to write something down by hand. Now I am so much more comfortable typing; I can nearly keep up with the flow of my thoughts this way, which is something I could never, ever manage to accomplish when writing by hand. My graphic motor skills are just too weak for me ever to print with any speed, and I cannot write in cursive at all.

(I don't know if this is good or bad for my RSI, since both typing and writing aggravate it. It's just something I'll have to deal with as I go along, but I think at this point typing is actually the better option because I'm more relaxed at it...AS LONG AS my workstation is physically suitable, and I take breaks.)

So by the time I get to a class which is very heavy on hand-written notes (i.e. med school, if that EVER happens, which I am doubting more and more each day), I am going to NEED a notebook computer to take notes on, or I'll never keep up.

Feeling a bit better now that I've typed a bit. I don't want to spam you guys, so I'll just add to this post behind a cut if I feel the strong urge to type some more.

Also, random note: all my mood icons will appear as red x's for a bit because falling asleep in front of Livejournal is really HELL on my bandwidth. (Which I've been doing a lot because our computer monitor is so buggered right now that it keeps dying on me every few minutes, which means I stay up much later trying to work in between it's little fits, which means I'm that much more tired, which means...UGH, FML.)

Cuuut, it's a cuuut, which doesn't have the same ring as snaaaake, but whatever )
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (try counting on your fingers)
My biology course this semester is doing this bizarre thing called, "Calibrated Peer Review," or "CPR." (And if THAT isn't a confusing acronym, I don't know what is.) The website describes it thusly:

Calibrated Peer Review (CPR)™ is a Web-based program that enables frequent writing assignments even in large classes with limited instructional resources. In fact, CPR can reduce the time an instructor now spends reading and assessing student writing.

What this means is that, above and beyond the regular classroom work, we're all expected to write three extra writing assignments (around 500-600 words each) and submit them online, "calibrate" ourselves by marking three instructor-written essays of varying levels of technical skill, and then mark and comment on three pieces written by our classmates. If you aren't within a certain amount of allowed deviation when you mark the calibrations, you have to do it again until your calibrations are on par; following that, the marks you assign your fellow students are weighted according to how well you matched the instructor's marking on the calibrations.

I call this system, "a waste of my fucking time - YOU'RE the instructor, YOU mark it," but whatever. I'm not exactly going to sacrifice these grades, either.

I just finished my calibrations and got the results back. I was vaguely surprised to see that my grading and answers to the "guiding marking questions" were in some places off the instructor's by as much as 50%, so I asked to see the full comparative breakdown.

Aaand...apparently, you wouldn't want ME for an English teacher )
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (aaah!)
Bad News: I don't remember chemistry.

I mean, it's been four years since I did any of this stuff, and I quite seriously do not recall ANY of this. I discovered last night that I don't really even remember how to balance equations. *FACEPALM* Although at least THAT's gradually coming back to me as I look over chem help websites.

Ugly News: There's no way I'm even going to pass my prelab. None.

As hideous as it is to contemplate having to do this for the FIRST wet lab, I think I will skip it, catch up on some missed math homework instead (I hear we have a quiz today), and contact the instructor as per the course outline to ask for make-up work. Claim I was awake all weekend (I was, actually), and that I slept in (I did, actually, since I was planning to get up in the wee hours and figure this crap out, and I didn't wake up until 6:15 because I forgot to set an alarm, ARGH). And that it will NEVER, EVER happen again, really.

(I hope and pray. *dies* Why, oh why, does this lab have to be at 8 am?)

Then I'm going to go find some tutors (electronic or otherwise) and I'm going to spend ALL AFTERNOON (since I have no classes) on REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW so that I'm not sitting in front of my lab manual next week looking at it going, "What's a mol again?"

I got a 98% in chemistry once. It HAS to all be in my brain SOMEWHERE, I just need to nudge it out.

Good News:


Um. I look really, really awesome in a pristine, white, knee-length lab coat. If I do say so myself.

Yeah, that's not a lot of good, but there had to be SOMETHING.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] Raxacoricophallapatorian PLEASE!)
An article about casting for series five of Doctor Who.

Cut for spoilers and a raaage-worthy quote )

And my GOD, more people need to download the most recent Confidential so I can get my share ratio high enough to put it on disc, make copies for Frank and Ann Marie (Christmas to Christmas - no reason not to when I couldn't mail it earlier anyway) and delete it. I want all the Christmas and Eleventh Doctor stuff off our computer. Because we just got a new computer for Christmas (WHOO FINALLY) and I don't want those files stuck on here while we make the switch.

*glares at uTorrent*

AND, to top off my morning, I stupidly left my most recent pair of $30 earbuds sitting out on the computer desk while I went to the bathroom, and Pigwidgeon chewed them into pulp before I got back. This is the FIRST time I've forgotten and left my headphones out since the time she chewed up the earbuds that came with my iPod a few weeks ago. I'm SO FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW.

That fucking cat has seriously tasted my fury, i.e. the water squirter. UGH. Now I have to trudge out through the snow and pick up more headphones. DIE, CAT.


Jan. 3rd, 2009 11:44 am
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] Ten & Donna - what happens now?)
So...the BBC announced the actor to play the Eleventh Doctor today.

Cut for the casting spoiler )


beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (Default)

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