(no subject)

[beandelphiki]

Okay, I totally should NOT have replied to ravelling a third time. Have I got a temper! (I still manged to take out the parts where I called her a cracker and shit. I'm still trying to make myself understood somewhat, and get my point across without dissolving into nothing but name-calling, but yeah... As I mentioned to i_dreamed_i_was, my anger is getting in the way of saying anything useful to this girl.)

That was just dumb, and I'm feeling that, "oh shit" moment right after you've hit "post" on something guaranteed to cause at least a little trouble, and it's too late to take it back.

But you know, getting told I "don't understand" her pasty bullshit is like having a red flag waved in my face. I grew up in a family of such middle-class intellectual snobbery, it's like all my hot buttons right there.

And right after I told her not to pull that shit! It's like she saw this:

For starters, why is it that when white people are criticized, we assume that the other person MISUNDERSTOOD US? (Don't try to answer that, please.)

Just because someone thinks you are WRONG does not mean you have been misunderstood. Do you see how messed up that is? You are not always right.


...and all she actually READ was:

when white people are criticized, other person MISUNDERSTOOD US. someone thinks you are WRONG does mean you have been misunderstood. Do you see how messed up that is? You are always right.

This is the only explanation I can think of that she would read, claim to understand, and respond in a fashion that indicates that what she got out of my post was exactly the OPPOSITE of what I was trying to say.


P.S. Will get back to comments later, not ignoring anyone. Just... I really need to go to bed.

Comments

Aaaaaarrrrgggh!

[i-dreamed-i-was.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I think you did good. Really. And in jadedgyrl23's thread, I did see that dyvinesweetness gave "props to the white members of the comm." And she's no apologist.

Yeah, it's a fine line. But don't sweat it. Sometimes idiots are just idiots.

Add a "gah!"

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I really felt like I'd overstepped something, but it seems to be blowing over. My comments got left alone, and I'm feeling the ability to be quiet right now, so I figure it's okay.

I am LAUGHING so hard over one of her recent comments:

I've apologized to kitti, and I agree that what I said was insenstive, but I don't want to unjoin. I liked this community, so far.

"I don't want to unjoin"? She still thinks it's all about her!

I wonder how long she'll put up with what she's getting before she storms out in a huff.

It's so ridiculous, I can't even...

[i-dreamed-i-was.livejournal.com]

And now you've seen karnythia's new thread on this, haven't you?

http://www.livejournal.com/community/blackfolk/2569609.html

Just one thing made me a touch uneasy...

You know, she was my first friend on LJ and the reason I signed up with LJ, even. She has always been pretty caring with me, but also totally honest.

And I know that if you feel defensive, it's usually for good reason... And if you don't think folks are talking about you, then they're probably not.

But this:

When you get cursed out for trying to dominate space that is not for you? Don't act surprised, and please don't pull out the bullshit crocodile tears about how you're just trying to understand.

... I don't know. I mean, I don't THINK I acted surprised-- in fact, I said I expected it on a sub-conscious level. And I didn't really shed tears of any kind in BF, unless you count the line where I said: "I feel awful."

Now, I did say I felt hurt in my journal, in friends-locked posts-- even while I didn't take the calling-out personally, and didn't blame anyone for the hurt feelings. I dunno. I'm confused and anxious.

And it's perfectly possible that she could be talking about someone else, but I don't recall anyone else getting "cursed out for trying to dominate space that is not for [them]."

???

As for you, I think you are MORE THAN in the clear. JMHO.

Re: It's so ridiculous, I can't even...

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

Well, nothing else in that post could really apply to you, and yeah, I'd say posting in a rage-post like Kitti's with the things she did qualifies as trying to dominate the space. I mean, she kept trying to tell people how they should feel, and what they were allowed to SAY.

So while it may be possible, I doubt it. karnythia may not be shy about calling people out, but it seems like it would be out of character for her to take that mini-drama about you (old news now) and throw it in while she whupped that twit. (I don't know her well, but I've been a member of fandom_wank on journalfen for ages, and from what I can remember, she's sane and cool.) Plus you weren't really cursed out. ravelling got told to go fuck herself.

...Haha, look at us doing this justifying thing.

LOL... *smh*

[i-dreamed-i-was.livejournal.com]

Haha, look at us doing this justifying thing.

Yeah, but I appreciate what you said, 'cause it makes a lot of sense. It could have also been things that were pieced together, or hypothetical combinations-- YKWIM?

I wasn't even going to email K tonight, because I thought I'd relax and sleep on it. I'll probably just let it go.

Thanks for the perspective.

See how that works? I help you (I think...), and you help me! :P