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beandelphikiI've been thinking about Jamie lately. I thought more about him at the beginning of the year, when he really pissed me off...but I've kinda gotten used to him now. So he's just become this peripheral figure, and a relatively good guy. Less annoying then he was before - I guess once he finally felt secure, he calmed down somewhat.
Before I noticed he's somewhat vengeful when someone else manages to make him look bad. He goes into this little funk and you can literally see the rage in his eyes. He's quite freaky.
(I once tried to explain this all to Elena, and she rolled her eyes and started talking down to me in this, "You're being silly, it's just a phase he's going through," kind of voice. It made me want to smack her. And she gets peeved when we call her Mom.)
A few nights ago in the shower, it finally dawned on me that Jamie's trying to prove he's good enough.
I didn't think much about that until this morning. Jamie was sitting alone at the Round Tables when I came in, and writing on a pad. He looked up and said, "Well, counseling was FUN last night."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, I finally figured out why I'm depressed. It's not because of loosing Cassandra, it's not because of school or any of that. It's because of my father."
"Oh yeah?"
"When I was 7, my dad said to me, 'You're a mistake. We never wanted more than two children.' That's haunted me my whole life... Everybody thinks I'm a perfectionist because of my mother. Well, sure, she has high expectations for me. But that's not it. I've spent my life up til now trying to prove my father wrong."
I just nodded and ate my donut. What could I say? "I know?"
It's one thing to KNOW you're right, and another thing entirely to have it PROVEN.
Before I noticed he's somewhat vengeful when someone else manages to make him look bad. He goes into this little funk and you can literally see the rage in his eyes. He's quite freaky.
(I once tried to explain this all to Elena, and she rolled her eyes and started talking down to me in this, "You're being silly, it's just a phase he's going through," kind of voice. It made me want to smack her. And she gets peeved when we call her Mom.)
A few nights ago in the shower, it finally dawned on me that Jamie's trying to prove he's good enough.
I didn't think much about that until this morning. Jamie was sitting alone at the Round Tables when I came in, and writing on a pad. He looked up and said, "Well, counseling was FUN last night."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, I finally figured out why I'm depressed. It's not because of loosing Cassandra, it's not because of school or any of that. It's because of my father."
"Oh yeah?"
"When I was 7, my dad said to me, 'You're a mistake. We never wanted more than two children.' That's haunted me my whole life... Everybody thinks I'm a perfectionist because of my mother. Well, sure, she has high expectations for me. But that's not it. I've spent my life up til now trying to prove my father wrong."
I just nodded and ate my donut. What could I say? "I know?"
It's one thing to KNOW you're right, and another thing entirely to have it PROVEN.
