A Fork In The Road

[beandelphiki]

Yes, absolutely.

*nods*

So I visited ftm briefly because I got a heads up from danielray that there was a bitch fight going on, and I didn't want to miss it.

Well...I didn't expect to find this post, which has so clearly outlined how I feel.

And you know what? I'm not going to be wishy-washy about it anymore.

For a long time now, I've been wondering if I even want to ID as FTM at all. It doesn't fit, and that feeling has gotten stronger since I went to college. I'm just a guy there, and that's right. Maybe I was happy to be an FTM at first - I'm not saying it didn't work for me at some point. But it doesn't work now; I'm getting to be nearly as uncomfortable with it as "lesbian," for the amount it fits me. I'm shying from the word, because it's not me.

So that's it. I refuse to ID as an FTM anymore. That's going to take getting used to, and I may need a transition period there, but that's my final decision.

Coming Up Next Week: The Non-Existence of "Male Privilege." Stay tuned to be pissed off!

Edit: ^ Um, joke? Ha ha?

Comments

cool.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

I've never thought of you as an FTM anyway. You've always just seemed like a really cool guy. It almost seems that ftm, as an ID, is a place mostly for transition... though of course I don't know near enough about it to have a meaningful opinion.

I thought that post was really cool, and really clear... and I was as frustrated as some of the others on there that everyone else got so riled up over it.

To quote Dylan, "I want that to be okay, that I can feel a way about myself without making others think that means that I feel negatively about who they are or how they live."

So, Go you! and
*hugs*

[archanglrobriel.livejournal.com]

Coming Up Next Week: The Non-Existence of "Male Privilege." Stay tuned to be pissed off!

Edit: ^ Um, joke? Ha ha?

See, stuff like this is why I like you...

[danielray.livejournal.com]

i thought you quit ftm because the bitch fights were driving you bonkers! and now you seek one out?

i think the thing i disagreed about in dylan's post is that he seemed to be saying that he *was* interested in being able to talk to other men who had a childhood history of being seen/raised/whatever as a girl, but that he thought that "FTM" meant something *specifically* else--and certainly something that i don't identify with either.

but i totally respect someone who wants to just be able to go be the guy that they are, without seeking out spaces that point up the chidhood history.

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

They drove me bonkers when they were on my friends list, and I felt somehow drawn to defend whatever I thought, and to read the whole thread. Having cut loose, so to speak, I don't really feel any obligation to read it if I don't feel like it. It's weird, what can I say?

Dylan's post, um... What I heard (which may not necessarily be what he said, but it was what I heard) was that he wants to be talking with guys more like himself, to have a community of that sort, and by looking for "FTMs" he ends up talking to genderqueer people much of the time, and defending himself.