Car Accident

[beandelphiki]

I got home late yesterday, too late to write about how my first day went at Mount Royal. It went spectacularly well - but I can't write about that now. To do so would seem...so anticlimatic, I guess.

Today I was in a car accident.

We got let out early from our lighting lab, so Pat (abalorn) offered to drive me, Nick, Steph and Jamie home from school. (They're all other techs.) When I got into the car, we were crunched in so tightly, I didn't bother to do up my seatbelt, since I couldn't reach it without strange contortions. Rest assured, I will never - NEVER - go without a seatbelt again.

We were five minutes from school when the girl ahead of us - driving a great big boat of an SUV - slowed for a passenger. Pat didn't see her slow down. He was following the 2-second rule, but...he wasn't paying attention, I guess. I think sometimes Pat is mildly ADD. I'm not mad at him; Steph is, though.

Pat hit the brakes, but not in time. We left skid marks for about eight feet and SLAMMED into the girl's back end.

BOOM!!

I was reading a newsletter, and didn't even see it coming, but the others say they heard Pat say, "What the-" before we hit.

The impact wasn't like anything I've ever imagined. The noise was incredible - I couldn't hear anything but ringing in my ears as we scrambled from the car. Pat's airbag deployed and burst, sending some sort of smoke pouring through the car. We thought at first the car was on fire.

I was climbing out while I was still processing the thought that went through my head after as we hit: "...I'm dead...."

We just stood by the side of the road shaking. I think the first thing I said was, "I'm okay, I don't think I'm hurt. Are you guys hurt?" and it took me about three seconds after getting out to say that. I guess I just wanted to minimize what happened. Like; this is nothing. No big deal. Small accident. We couldn't have...died.



I was in shock. I kept thinking about the fact that I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. The others, I suppose, can say that if they were hurt none of it was their fault (as far as I know the others had seatbelts on - maybe Jamie didn't), but I had to deal with the fact that if I had died, it would have been my fault. Entirely my stupid, STUPID fault.

Had we been going any faster, I would have flown through the windshield, and that would have been the end of me. Kapoof, no more Danny.

When we went around front and looked at the front of Pat's car was when we all started to really shake. We could all joke and say, "Whoo!" - but not when we saw the front. Pat's car is totaled. His hood is folded like an accordion. It's pouring fluid. There's debris strewn for several feet, everything under the hood looks smunched, parts are hanging out on springs....

Steph started crying.

Thank god the girl we hit was so kind. She made sure we all had rides, she checked we were okay, she exchanged phone numbers, etc with Pat...then she drove off with a dent in her bumper. I'm getting a boat like that, I'll tell ya.

I called my dad for rides for me and Steph. If I'd had to, I could have taken the bus, but...I just didn't want to be alone.

I told everyone to see a doctor in the next few days, but even as I said it, I kept thinking it couldn't apply to me. I couldn't have whiplash, or anything serious. I couldn't. Stuff like that just doesn't HAPPEN to me.

I'm a cat. I ALWAYS land on my feet. That's my life. I couldn't be hurt.

I was just going to shake this off, like I shake off everything. Stuff just rolls off me, and this time would be no different.

It's not rolling off. I could have damn well DIED. And it would have been my fault. My arrogance, because nothing happens to me. I almost started crying too, in the ride home, because my dad said with my position and lack of good seatbelt (I told him it was reaaally loose) I'm sure to have whiplash.

I almost cried because I wanted it to be over, be gone. I wanted to be the way I always am, unflappable. I hate loosing my center like this. I just keeping feeling the impact, smelling the smoke, hearing the ringing in my ears. In the ride home, I flinched every time someone merged in front of us.

I can't even remember the last time I was really afraid of something. I don't get scared of things. I just don't. I get nervous...but when it comes to physical things, I'm not afraid of anything. It's new, and I hate it.

I think I lost one of my nine lives today.

Comments

oh!!

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

I'm so sad and happy for you.. I'm in tears mourning the loss of one of your precious nine lives... yet so proud of you for seeing and learning so much from something that is so terribly dramatic that most people can't handle it.. shrug it off.. and learn nothing.

glad you're still with us.