First Real Cut

[beandelphiki]

WARNING: If you are on my friends list, and you are non-trans, you may not want to read this. Especially if you are my friend outside of lj. The following entry is quite trans-specific and may be explicit. If this will make you uncomfortable to see my face after, I would strongly suggest that you DON'T read it.

That's all. Remember I warned you.


Okay, I want to know if anyone else feels this. This weird thing has been happening to me a lot lately, and I have no explanation for it. Here goes:

I am straight, I'm quite sure of that. All of my fantasies have always included my possession of a penis, and I have NO desire to be penetrated in ANY way, shape or form. But I keep getting these odd flashes of...what? dreams? fantasy?...in which I feel like I'm being vaginally penetrated.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY! I've never been raped, so it's not flashbacks. (I know what those feel like. Totally different.) It's almost as if my body is saying to me, "This is the feeling you should want that goes with this part." I'm not sure if it will disappear when I no longer have that physical void inside of me, or what. I mean, if I think about it (which I obviously don't tend to do) I can kind of feel it, so maybe that's it.

I really just don't know.

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[ablivious.livejournal.com]

Of course I added you! Your a great little buddy! :)