VENT!

[beandelphiki]

Dear feminist_rage,

(Read this CAREFULLY, and make sure you understand what I'm really saying, because I'm not taking the blame if you think I believe relationship issues are unimportant.)

If you SERIOUSLY think that it's really insulting to say that posts about lazy boyfriends don't deserve more attention than posts about racism, you are FUCKED IN THE MOTHERFUCKING HEAD.

It's not an insult, okay? It's just not. I wouldn't be insulted - why are you? What's that conceit about?

Hey, it's not that I have a problem with posts about your lazy boyfriend. Let's fight the good fight against the patriarchy here. That's what the community is for - feminism-related rants, on any topic at all. That's cool.

But this is bigger than you and your boyfriend. God FORBID somebody think you ought to be paying attention to THAT, too!


Sincerely,

Bean

P.S. Anybody know about good communities for womanism? Because this is getting so tiring. Edit: I'm not actually asking, I'll just go look. Was being rather flip, please ignore.

Comments

*is laughing with rage*

[i-dreamed-i-was.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah...

Who knew that feminist_rage was just as privilege-y as feminist?

Check this out: http://www.livejournal.com/community/blackfolk/2317194.html

And request to join sex_and_race. It's all about the womanism.

Re: *is laughing with rage*

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

I get "laughing with rage," I'm doing it, too. I think it's mostly "baring of teeth" that's involved here, and not exactly a "laugh."

/totally random

Context:

It's really a mess. I'll go dig up some links for you, although the actual discussion on the banning this is in response to is locked.

Basically, this woman has been rubbing people the wrong way lately. She had a post on Lil' Kim going to a detention center, and asked why Martha Stewart went to Green Acres when Lil' Kim went where she went.

She got exactly one constructive comment, and a comment from someone who said she was gathering her thoughts. She thanked people for replying, and said she was concerned that her post got few replies in a comm of 1000+ people, but "my boyfriend won't wash the dishes" gets dozens. This got her WARNED by a mod. And it goes downhill from there - especially since everyone has different interpretations of what she said.

I'm trying to say that part of my frustration is that I interpreted her posts differently than the mod did. And I don't think that people shouldn't be posting about their boyfriends, because the patriarchy is a system like racism is. But I AM fed up with the people in the thread who keep saying, "OMG how dare she suggest my post about my bf wasn't important! Safe space violation!" If I'm not careful, I'm going to get accused of the same thing.

People have, I think, have some valid reasons for not replying (e.g. not living in North America, being too uninformed about American racism to feel right commenting), but now I get to hear about ALL of them. Har.

"Safe space" rules in general just piss me off. They seem to be a way of keeping privileged members from being checked, half the time.

Okay...

[i-dreamed-i-was.livejournal.com]

I actually DID post about this in sex_and_race, and I have gotten some... interesting responses so far. There will certainly be responses from more women of color, soon...

http://www.livejournal.com/community/sex_and_race/69466.html

Re: Okay...

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

But I would not imply that even a blatant accusation of sexism violated our "safe space" as an anti-racist forum. Because it doesn't. It may or may not be inappropriate, but it doesn't violate any "safe space" rule.

Y'know, I really think that was one of my biggest issues. I get that all rages are allowed there, but I didn't think she was criticizing their rages, and I think the fact that people assumed she WAS is an example of how "safe space" can fail to work.

(Gotta go to work now, so I'll check this late tonight.)

And then I actually had to GO to...

[i-dreamed-i-was.livejournal.com]

feminist_rage and see this "mod note."

You're accusing the membership of not caring about issues, and assuming bias. The safe space is violated when you presume to know the feelings of the other members, and intimate that the membership is somehow unwilling to see other perspectives, when this is patently untrue.

WTF?

Since when does a feminist "safe space" = a white folks' safe space. Forget that noise! That would be like banning someone from blackfolk for venting about men! Or women, for that matter!

And if white people cannot be challenged in feminist_rage because it's a "safe space," then how SAFE A SPACE IS IT FOR WOMEN OF COLOR, MOTHERF*CKERS?

Okay, I'm posting that in sex_and_race.

Re: And then I actually had to GO to...

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

Oh, you found it! I didn't even look, I thought it was further back than that. Ehh, fem_rage usually get many posts a day, but obviously has been slow.

Never mind me. Heh.

[mercuryisme.livejournal.com]

Mind if I add you?

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

Sure! In the interest of honesty, though, I should point out that I'm not actually a multiple...

[mercuryisme.livejournal.com]

Neither am I. I'm a psych student. I liked your icon.

[cup-kun.livejournal.com]

uhh, lazy boyfriends would have little to nothing to do with feminism. :/