ADHD assessment update - Part I

Okay, okay, I changed my mind:

THERAPISTS CAN BE USEFUL SOMETIMES.

Yes, this is me, Mr. I'll-Keep-My-Own-Counsel-Thankyaverymuch, eating crow.


This week, I went twice to a psychologist through "Alberta's Attentional and Learning Services" or some such...can't remember. Saw a nice lady, Dr. Y, about an ADHD assessment. (Bizarrely, I've actually started calling it ADHD instead of ADD half the time since my meetings with her, even though SHE doesn't call it that.)

Our first meeting (1.5 hours) we went over my developmental and medical history, and my school chronology. We discussed my symptoms a little bit in the course of trying to determine if I have any signs of an LD, and although there was some issues I was definitely concerned about, I think it went fairly well. She said that I was straightforward and obviously very intelligent, and easy to get information out of. Whee!

Second meeting (2 hours) we went over my symptoms in depth, which was deeply interesting to me, because although I can think through my symptoms for myself, and although I can get little insights from other people and by listening to what they have to say on their own symptoms, it was totally different to hear some more in-depth stuff entirely about me. (Ha, damned if that didn't sound hopelessly self-absorbed.)

For example: I told her about my bizarre memory - how some customers think I'm magical because I will remember every detail about their long, complex order, while I can barely remember at all if someone just orders the most common burrito on the menu, with no complications. She said that actually makes SENSE, because of ADD arousal levels. Dude, why didn't I think of that? I have the knowledge base.

We concluded that it's highly unlikely that I have any learning disabilities, so she's probably cutting out the psychoeducational part of my assessment entirely. She did give me a LD screener, though...I think because she's slightly puzzled about my scores on the one my school counselor gave me, but she doesn't have a copy of my answers. (She seemed puzzled that my scores in reading speed, decoding, comprehension, spelling and written expression were all low or zeros - indicating strengths - but my visual-spatial score was rather high, approaching a serious area of weakness. So I made sure to include comments in that section to explain my answers.)

I think she also made a brief attempt to rule out Asperger's - she asked me if I get jokes. Sigh. She's happy that my answer is, "Yes, I usually find 3 or 4 things funny about jokes, not just one," which she says is another sign I'm smart. (Or just weird, maybe?) Still, I know that's not a good question to ask to rule out spectrum disorders.

(Also, the thought popped into my head that at least a third of the time, I take a long time to register what OTHER people find funny about the joke - I usually think I get it, and then eventually realize that I found something else funny from everyone else. I decided not to mention that. Did I make the right choice?)


( Being smart masks your symptoms in multiple ways, oh yes )

Almost forgot!

Oh! Oh! Can't NOT post this:

Dr. Y laughed numerous times in session in response to some of my funnier stories. She said they were "so classically ADD." (Such as the first day of seventh grade, when my science teacher said it might rain "cats and dogs" later in the year, and I instantly burst out barking at the top of my lungs.)

Said that my stories made the difference. "Anyone can walk in here and say that they can't remember things, or they lose things, or they can't concentrate at work. What makes it ADD is things like barking in class."

Anyway. She says she wants to quote me in the book she's writing on ADD, because some of the things I say are so "classic."

How about that?! I can indirectly entertain and inform the masses with my tales of woe and inadequacy.

*BEAM*

I knew being good-for-nothing was good for something!

ADHD assessment - Part II

*cracks knuckles* Assessment, part deux.


One of the themes that came up when I was talking with Dr. Y is the sort of underlying person I am. She said that what she was hearing from me - over and over - as I described my symptoms, my childhood and my coping strategies was that I'm quite the anal, perfectionistic, slightly-OCD, "IF IT'S NOT PERFECT, I REFUSE TO DO IT, RAAAWR!" kind of person. (She noted how often I recheck, to the point that it nearly obscures some of my less troublesome symptoms.)

Which is true, I am that sort of person. Although I've managed to hide my perfectionism well, obviously. While my old preschool report cards note how quickly I got frustrated and started tantruming if something wasn't exactly right, by third grade I was "careless" and simply "resistant" to doing work. Not anal, and not concerned about getting it right.

(Despite the fact that I was generally a kid who wanted to be liked, not a kid who wanted to piss people off, my report cards sound more like I was bratty and defiant than inattentive. CAN do the work, but WON'T, willful, stubborn, resistant, avoidant "despite ability," refuses, tiresome...struggle, battle, fight, etc.)

I once joked to my mother that I am a "closet perfectionist." Her response was to say, "WAY deep in the closet!" She knows perfectly well, of course, how I reacted to failure as a kid (the tantruming continued longer at home, I think). But I long ago perfected my, "What, me, worry?"

All of this, Dr. Y says, is ANXIETY based. I don't really have OCD, or an anxiety disorder, but I'm an ANXIOUS person.

( Double-you-tee-EFF, mate? )