Shrink Day. Uggh.
Feb. 18th, 2003 09:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beandelphiki[The following is a blow-by-blow account of a therapy session. Probably uninteresting to most readers.]
So today when I went to see Dr. Miles we spent most of it talking about spirituality and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
siegeengine. (Not necessarily all in relation to each other.)
I know, I know. I wasn't going to mention Frank. At all. I'm sure I've said that. I really wasn't planning to. Except that...
We started talking about spirituality and my "spiritual sense of myself as masculine" and a whole bunch of other New Age bullcrap. I'm getting this sense he's stuck thinking that I'm at some stage where I really am not sure about being a guy and yada yada. I've tried, numerous times now, to get it through his thick skull that I AM a guy, you could not convince me of it otherwise, and can we just get ON with it already? Naw, I have to first convince HIM that I'm a guy. I didn't realize it worked like that.
So, he gets that I'm skittish around the word "spiritual" and have a tendency to write off anything described by that word as total idiocy. So now I have another homework assignment (on top of finally writing my autobio, which he's desperate to see) - he wants me to read this book called Journey of the Peaceful Warrior, so I understand this "spiritual" stuff he's talking about. I agreed to read it, but if it really is something my atheist self is going to find squicky, I guess I'll have to tell him "no can do."
So at that point...we got into a discussion of my masculinity and my spirituality and "discoveries about your sexual orientation."
At which point I think I blushed violently, and he said, "What's that about?"
So I had to explain Frank. He got me to tell him the whole story, which I did as best I could. [With the exception of mentioning the mess we had a few weeks ago (which I felt it best not to mention) and the story of an anon comment I left in Frank's journal once (as I'm too embarrassed to even think about that, let alone talk about it.)]
He wanted to warn me about the possibility that Frank is a creep, so I added that - assuming all information is correct - I have his (their) address, his (their) home phone number, his work number, his email andhaleth's email.
He seemed fairly satisfied with that, except that he now wanted to hear abouthaleth...who I had kinda neglected to mention somehow. (Given that I didn't even know how he'd react to the idea of Frank in the first place.)
I explained that we're poly, which precipitated him going off on long-winded musings about some of his other poly clients (whew!) including a FMF triad and a relationship with one women who rotates through four guys.
Blah, blah. Sometimes, I feel uncomfortable interrupting him, which doesn't seem fair. Since this is on my dollar. (Well, my mother's and our insurer.) I never know what to do about it though, especially as I never have much to say. His questions are irritatingly vague - I always have to ask, "What do you mean?" And I don't really want to answer his questions to begin with. I just want to get on T. And be left alone. *sigh*
So now I have another book to read. The Lifestyle. Evidently about being poly. *shrug* Lord, I hope it's not out of date. He told me that's a good book for me to read, especially in my position of inexperience. (He wrote down on his notepad my statement that I've never been in a relationship before, and he kept underlining it, over and over, while we talked.) He said that it will take me through poly relationships intellectually, so I can understand that better.
He asked me what my "boundaries" are. I asked him what he meant, and got a scolding. "Dan! Everyone has boundaries!"
Well, yes, I know that, and I'm not saying I don't. I have boundaries regarding my birth name and when it's acceptable for someone to mention it. (If I mention it first, otherwise, ask. In fact, just asking if you can use it for some reason is probably best in all situations.) I have boundaries regarding sex. (No getting fucked in the front hole. The rest is negotiable.) But what kind of boundaries did he MEAN? Like I said, irritatingly vague. I'm not going to bring up something like sex unless I HAVE to.
He said I might have boundaries about how much time Frank spends with me vs. Ann Marie, which just had me looking at him. I pointed out that since Frank LIVES with Ann Marie, and can only talk to me online at the moment, he is naturally going to spend more time with her - and if I had an issue with that, I think I could consider myself pathologically jealous. Regardless, I said, I likehaleth and am not particularly jealous of her. And she was first. Sorry, but I still have this thing - first come, first serve. (Uh. Not to make anyone sound like a buffet course, or something. Eh.)
Okay, okay, good, he says. But I still have to be sensitive to my needs in this relationship, and I have to be aware of how I feel about Ann Marie being Frank's primary and blah blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vhatever.
Yes, I know she is his primary. No, I do not mind. Yes, he is my primary at the moment. Yes, I will be aware when that's not "meeting my needs." Yes, I will likely want a girlfriend as a primary of my own. No, not now.
Back to sexuality. He asked me if we'd discussed orientation. Erg. More blushing. "Well, um, we haven't really discussed that..." I started.
"Dan! I was talking about YOURS!"
[What the f--k did he think I was going to say? First he wants me to talk, then when I DO talk, it's not what he wants to hear. The fuck?]
"Yes, I know, I was talking about me," I said. "I meant...we haven't discussed my orientation." [I've made sure of that, haven't I?] "It's still kind of up in the air."
"Oh, I see."
"I mean...it's not like I suddenly like guys. I don't. It's just..."
"Meeting on the internet has given you the chance to get to love him because you could see his personality first, is that it?"
"Yeah, and this never would have happened if we'd met first in real life."
"Oh, REALLY?" Eyebrows high. "Care to elaborate?"
Elaborate on what, exactly? I said it fairly plainly, I thought. "Well, it's like you said...about getting to know him...as a person first."
"As a human being rather than just...a man? Not to overlook or ignore that he is a man, but if you see what I'm saying..."
"Yeah."
"Well, that's very...interesting. So you could be dealing with the whole issue of looking at how to physically love someone who is male, and that sort of thing. I've seen this before, where you're dealing with this whole issue of...well, I just fell in love with a man and...I'm a man, but...I don't feel gay."
"Yeah." [Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like a doll sometimes, programmed to bob my head when he addresses me.]
"Now, are you planning to meet, then?"
"It's kinda tentatively scheduled for June."
"You could be running into some problems, then...having only known him as a personality on the Internet."
I was a little confused. "Oh, do you mean...being confronted with the physical reality of him as a male...or something?"
"Well, that, but - well, have you exchanged pictures?"
"I have his. Uh...I haven't sent him any. Problem is, I don't think I HAVE a picture of myself that is younger than two years old."
"Oh, REALLY? I want to hear about THAT in more detail. Put that in your autobiography, will you? No, but what I really meant is what we psychologists refer to as, 'cognitive dissonance."
"Whazzat?"
"Basically, it's the difference between what you THINK you know about someone...and what you find out about them when you meet them. It can be very strong with these sorts of relationships, and you should watch for that."
I can't remember much after that. We talked about about Frank and Ann Marie and I keeping good communication and blah blah.
*sigh*
A little much for one day. Was intense.
Should start on that autobio.
So today when I went to see Dr. Miles we spent most of it talking about spirituality and
siegeengine. (Not necessarily all in relation to each other.)I know, I know. I wasn't going to mention Frank. At all. I'm sure I've said that. I really wasn't planning to. Except that...
We started talking about spirituality and my "spiritual sense of myself as masculine" and a whole bunch of other New Age bullcrap. I'm getting this sense he's stuck thinking that I'm at some stage where I really am not sure about being a guy and yada yada. I've tried, numerous times now, to get it through his thick skull that I AM a guy, you could not convince me of it otherwise, and can we just get ON with it already? Naw, I have to first convince HIM that I'm a guy. I didn't realize it worked like that.
So, he gets that I'm skittish around the word "spiritual" and have a tendency to write off anything described by that word as total idiocy. So now I have another homework assignment (on top of finally writing my autobio, which he's desperate to see) - he wants me to read this book called Journey of the Peaceful Warrior, so I understand this "spiritual" stuff he's talking about. I agreed to read it, but if it really is something my atheist self is going to find squicky, I guess I'll have to tell him "no can do."
So at that point...we got into a discussion of my masculinity and my spirituality and "discoveries about your sexual orientation."
At which point I think I blushed violently, and he said, "What's that about?"
So I had to explain Frank. He got me to tell him the whole story, which I did as best I could. [With the exception of mentioning the mess we had a few weeks ago (which I felt it best not to mention) and the story of an anon comment I left in Frank's journal once (as I'm too embarrassed to even think about that, let alone talk about it.)]
He wanted to warn me about the possibility that Frank is a creep, so I added that - assuming all information is correct - I have his (their) address, his (their) home phone number, his work number, his email and
haleth's email.He seemed fairly satisfied with that, except that he now wanted to hear about
haleth...who I had kinda neglected to mention somehow. (Given that I didn't even know how he'd react to the idea of Frank in the first place.)I explained that we're poly, which precipitated him going off on long-winded musings about some of his other poly clients (whew!) including a FMF triad and a relationship with one women who rotates through four guys.
Blah, blah. Sometimes, I feel uncomfortable interrupting him, which doesn't seem fair. Since this is on my dollar. (Well, my mother's and our insurer.) I never know what to do about it though, especially as I never have much to say. His questions are irritatingly vague - I always have to ask, "What do you mean?" And I don't really want to answer his questions to begin with. I just want to get on T. And be left alone. *sigh*
So now I have another book to read. The Lifestyle. Evidently about being poly. *shrug* Lord, I hope it's not out of date. He told me that's a good book for me to read, especially in my position of inexperience. (He wrote down on his notepad my statement that I've never been in a relationship before, and he kept underlining it, over and over, while we talked.) He said that it will take me through poly relationships intellectually, so I can understand that better.
He asked me what my "boundaries" are. I asked him what he meant, and got a scolding. "Dan! Everyone has boundaries!"
Well, yes, I know that, and I'm not saying I don't. I have boundaries regarding my birth name and when it's acceptable for someone to mention it. (If I mention it first, otherwise, ask. In fact, just asking if you can use it for some reason is probably best in all situations.) I have boundaries regarding sex. (No getting fucked in the front hole. The rest is negotiable.) But what kind of boundaries did he MEAN? Like I said, irritatingly vague. I'm not going to bring up something like sex unless I HAVE to.
He said I might have boundaries about how much time Frank spends with me vs. Ann Marie, which just had me looking at him. I pointed out that since Frank LIVES with Ann Marie, and can only talk to me online at the moment, he is naturally going to spend more time with her - and if I had an issue with that, I think I could consider myself pathologically jealous. Regardless, I said, I like
haleth and am not particularly jealous of her. And she was first. Sorry, but I still have this thing - first come, first serve. (Uh. Not to make anyone sound like a buffet course, or something. Eh.)Okay, okay, good, he says. But I still have to be sensitive to my needs in this relationship, and I have to be aware of how I feel about Ann Marie being Frank's primary and blah blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vhatever.
Yes, I know she is his primary. No, I do not mind. Yes, he is my primary at the moment. Yes, I will be aware when that's not "meeting my needs." Yes, I will likely want a girlfriend as a primary of my own. No, not now.
Back to sexuality. He asked me if we'd discussed orientation. Erg. More blushing. "Well, um, we haven't really discussed that..." I started.
"Dan! I was talking about YOURS!"
[What the f--k did he think I was going to say? First he wants me to talk, then when I DO talk, it's not what he wants to hear. The fuck?]
"Yes, I know, I was talking about me," I said. "I meant...we haven't discussed my orientation." [I've made sure of that, haven't I?] "It's still kind of up in the air."
"Oh, I see."
"I mean...it's not like I suddenly like guys. I don't. It's just..."
"Meeting on the internet has given you the chance to get to love him because you could see his personality first, is that it?"
"Yeah, and this never would have happened if we'd met first in real life."
"Oh, REALLY?" Eyebrows high. "Care to elaborate?"
Elaborate on what, exactly? I said it fairly plainly, I thought. "Well, it's like you said...about getting to know him...as a person first."
"As a human being rather than just...a man? Not to overlook or ignore that he is a man, but if you see what I'm saying..."
"Yeah."
"Well, that's very...interesting. So you could be dealing with the whole issue of looking at how to physically love someone who is male, and that sort of thing. I've seen this before, where you're dealing with this whole issue of...well, I just fell in love with a man and...I'm a man, but...I don't feel gay."
"Yeah." [Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like a doll sometimes, programmed to bob my head when he addresses me.]
"Now, are you planning to meet, then?"
"It's kinda tentatively scheduled for June."
"You could be running into some problems, then...having only known him as a personality on the Internet."
I was a little confused. "Oh, do you mean...being confronted with the physical reality of him as a male...or something?"
"Well, that, but - well, have you exchanged pictures?"
"I have his. Uh...I haven't sent him any. Problem is, I don't think I HAVE a picture of myself that is younger than two years old."
"Oh, REALLY? I want to hear about THAT in more detail. Put that in your autobiography, will you? No, but what I really meant is what we psychologists refer to as, 'cognitive dissonance."
"Whazzat?"
"Basically, it's the difference between what you THINK you know about someone...and what you find out about them when you meet them. It can be very strong with these sorts of relationships, and you should watch for that."
I can't remember much after that. We talked about about Frank and Ann Marie and I keeping good communication and blah blah.
*sigh*
A little much for one day. Was intense.
Should start on that autobio.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 08:49 pm (UTC)So much I'd like to ask about, and know about, but I lack the words to ask and sense to speak.
you're a very interesting person, you know that?
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 08:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 10:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-19 12:35 pm (UTC)*admires Dan*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 10:59 pm (UTC)Oh, and I usually don't say anything, but you really do have your moments of brilliance. I loved the title on your last post...the bit about goosebumps. And I don't think I'll ever forget when you wrote about you and your friends running and looking like "a Victoria's Secret commercial gone horribly wrong." However that went, exactly. Not an image I'll lose. I love your sense of humour, I just tend to keep my thoughts to myself.
Not conducive to lj, I suppose.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 08:53 pm (UTC)1) I've read "Way of the Peaceful Warrior," and it isn't all that 'spiritual' as such. The guy's not a Zen master or anything like that. It made sense to me.
2) Your psych needs to understand that asking you vague, open-ended questions is only irritating you, not helping, and get his head out of his ass in that department.
*hugs, if you'd like them*
*wishes a lot that you had AIM, and sighs*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 10:53 pm (UTC)2) *nod* I think I first need to convince him that he can't put words in my mouth that I don't want there.
*takes hugs* *gives some back (um, if ya want 'em?)*
*kicks non-working AIM*
Thanks, Griff.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-19 12:37 pm (UTC)*is very tempted to actually try *shudder* MSN, if you can't get AIM working -- what's the trouble with AIM?*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 08:53 pm (UTC)But I've found that it's usually better, as long as the person isn't like, terribly annoying in real life.
And when you wait so long just to be with that person... it's incredible.
*sigh*
I didn't meet Heather until a while after we started dating (technically it was one month, but we had been talking and flirting and whatnot for much longer). It was very odd at first, but it gradually just felt right, you know? I hope that's how it feels for you.
Also, Heather was "straight" when we started to date. Heh. Kinda similar to your situation, eh?
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 10:50 pm (UTC)I wonder if I'm terribly annoying in real life...
Also, Heather was "straight" when we started to date. Heh. Kinda similar to your situation, eh?
Um, I doubt it. But I'll probably post about it...since it's out there now. *sigh*
Thanks again.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 09:57 pm (UTC)I've told my therapist all about us, and she doesn't seem near as interested.
I guess that's the nature of the type of therapy, though.
I'm glad he wasn't squicked, and that it doesn't seem like it's something that is going to set you back, T-wise. I was worried about that.
Also, it's cool that he knows something about poly. I'm going to have to try and find that book, too. I know precious little about it myself, as you know. *hugs* I've heard the book entitled, "The Ethical Slut," (I know... I didn't name it) tossed around on many a poly board as the only book on poly, so I'm surprised that he knew of another. Haven't read that one yet, either. *looks on eBay*
Oh, and yes the info is correct. Um... you can call and check if you like, but I suppose that seems silly. You can call and say hello, at any rate, if you wanted to.
Oh, and, sorry that mentioning me to him has caused him to find a number of other things to say, "Oh, REALLY?" to... :( Hope they're not too hard to explain.
*holds you tight*
I love you very much, you know?
*smooch*
*snogs*
me
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 11:13 pm (UTC)I guess that's the nature of the type of therapy, though.
Yeah...oh, yeah...anything related to sex/sexuality he is gonna want to know about. In detail. Massive detail. Every little detail... Okay, j/k. ;)
But also...he wants to know all about my life. Mostly gender and sex sort of stuff, but everything else, too. Ideas about my future career...my family. Gestalt. (Unfortunately. Grr, I just want T!)
About being set back...he is still talking three months. So that is good.
I've heard the book entitled, "The Ethical Slut," (I know... I didn't name it)
*stern* There is nothing wrong with being a slut, my young Jedi.
Oh, and yes the info is correct. Um... you can call and check if you like, but I suppose that seems silly. You can call and say hello, at any rate, if you wanted to.
Oh, I know it's correct. I'm just positive he wouldn't take my word on that. After all, this is the Internet and we all know about people on the Internet. ;)
Am surprised that's what you chose to comment on, and not the second part of the post. I mean...the first part was more general poly stuff, and the second part was specifically about you and me. *wonders*
Anyway.
*hugs* and *love* and *smooches*
Re:
Date: 2003-02-18 11:21 pm (UTC)I was rushed because going to the gym and all, and lots of stuff going on here like yelling and screeching and stuff (in a good way, if you can imagine) plus, laundry and making dinner. So... I'll absorb most of the rest later. Was just my first impressions.
*huggles you*
*kiss*
Oh... and... was going to say:
I know you're not worried about it, but...
if your mom was, or your therapist was,
Just... you know... in case your mom starts getting freaked out or something... you could mention it or suggest it or something.
*snogs*
*snugs*
me
um... apparently
Date: 2003-02-19 04:34 am (UTC)Um... I was intending to comment more here... but I'm finding that theres a little too much missing for me to really work with. It's just that... somewhere between the blah blah blah, and the yeah yeah, and the vhatevers, are some really key points that we might discuss.
Um... just an observation. *hugs*
Um... boundaries. Yes. boundaries are good. And, from what I've read, they should be spelled out as precisely as possible. I know that our situation is a little more difficult to pin down, since it is long distance, and internet and all... but it's something to think about.
To be honest, though, I've never been much for precision, nor for rules. I mean, I just sort of fly by the seat of my pants, and figure that if my intentions are good and honorable, that my actions will be, too. Um... not sure how you feel about that. The boundaries that you laid out are great, though. I mean, I need to know things like that. If I can think of any that I have, I'll let you know, ok? And if you could do the same...
*kiss*
I refreshed myself a bit on cognitive dissonance. I don't think we'll have much of a problem there. I mean... I'm pretty much consistant in terms of how I am in real life, vs. how I present myself online. Oh.. um.. here is a link to a fairly clear cut description, with examples, if you were interested in reading up on it.
"Oh, do you mean...being confronted with the physical reality of him as a male...or something?"
yeeks. I kinda worry about this... but less so lately than before. I know I've written somewhere about how I used to hate myself for seeming so big and imposing. I think I have some sort of body image disorder, though, because people have told me that I'm not.
I am currently 6' even, and 214 lbs. (97.0704 Kilograms,) so I'm not small. I'm also still a bit pudgy around the midsection, as I have weighed 256 lbs. as recently as last July. So.. um.. don't know what else to say about that, except have been going to a gym 3-4 times a week since Dec., and plan on doing this for the foreseeable future.
"I meant...we haven't discussed my orientation." [I've made sure of that, haven't I?] "It's still kind of up in the air." *nods* Yes, I've kind of been staying away from that topic, myself. Not sure how sore a point it is, or anything. If it helps, I really have no preconceived notion of what I might think your orientation is. If anything, I still think of you as straight. *shrugs*
I do feel twinges of guilt about this, though... especially when reading your bio, for example. Like, maybe being with me might in a tiny way be screwing with your head and your identity. I really hope it's not. I don't think it is, much, because you seem much the same person as when I met you.
"Yeah, and this never would have happened if we'd met first in real life."
um... yeeks. Makes me happy for the first time that we don't live closer together. ;) Not in a bad way... just that, well, like you wrote. Maybe if we knew each other in rl, I'd be just another David, or another Nick. *sad* *kisses*
I've seen this before, where you're dealing with this whole issue of...well, I just fell in love with a man and...I'm a man, but...I don't feel gay. *nods* I understand what he's saying here. Not sure what you think about it, but, from my perspective, you don't seem all that gay, if at all. It doesn't bother me a bit, though.
Also, the idea of your finding a girlfriend... well, ok, it makes me a tiny bit sad, but I would also be so so happy for you. I really just want to be supportive to you in any way I can. I don't really fear that you'd disassociate yourself from me in that instance, since we've kind of discussed this in terms of how it relates to polyamorism... but maybe a tiny insecure part of me does, just a little.
reached the lj limit and it won't let me post this in one piece...
more to follow...
*hugs* and *love*
me
Re: um... apparently
Date: 2003-02-19 04:38 am (UTC)With you, though... I really don't have any influence. It's like what you told me, um... right before the bad time :( . <3 <--- that's mine. You can break it.
In a way... it's very nerve-wracking. In another way, it's the most wonderful feeling in the world. It's really been such an interesting exploration for me... into what love is, and how it expresses itself over time. My love for Ann Marie is just so solid, so strong and immutable. It's like my foundation, almost. My love for you is fiery and consuming. Still, I sense a deep soul-bond to both of you, that is remarkably similar. I feel that we are... connected... that we know each other, and will always know each other.
So, the fire, though consuming, is not something that I fear will ever go out. It is very much like the type of love I felt when I met Ann Marie. A protective, aching, fearful yet reassuring connection - that another person cares for you and you for them.
Um... not sure how I got there... kind of a tangent.
I'll leave it, though, in case you want to discuss it, or if it helps somehow.
I'd re-read this... to edit it.. but it's so disjointed... I guess I'll just let it ride.
I love you.
Dan
Snowpaw
*melts*
sorry.. I love to say your name, or write it... but I've been conditioned to never use a person's name when talking to them. Not sure where that came from... still... I love it, um.. Dan. *giggles*
*tries again*
I love you, Dan.
my snowpaw...
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
@}~^~~~
*gentle kiss*
...
*slightly harder kiss*
um...
*snogs you madly*
;)
Re: um... apparently
Date: 2003-02-20 11:36 am (UTC)I feel that we are... connected... that we know each other, and will always know each other.
In the metaphysical sense... I meant. Like Jen and I.
So, the fire, though consuming, is not something that I fear will ever go out.
And it won't. I'll always love you, but I'm not deluded that we will always be together. Life is funny, like that. I've come to expect it... and therefore to relish the times I have when I can immerse myself in someone so wonderful as you, for however long it lasts. Quality... like Griffin's friend wrote. Quality, over longevity. *nods*
Oh, and..
<3 <--- that's mine. You can break it.
"can," "should," "will," and "had better not," are not interchangeable.... meaning... I believe my statement as I wrote it, but not with any other of those phrases in place of "can." Getting one's heart broken... is one of the few instances in life when you really and truly know that you are alive. Beyond that... you know that you've lived.
Please don't feel any undue pressure to spare me such an experience, should the time come. It's one of life's rarest, sweetest and most painful gifts... and almost always carries with it powerful lessons that will never be forgotten.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 10:28 pm (UTC)*smile*
:)
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-18 10:55 pm (UTC)I really missed you! I didn't realize how much I missed people on here until I started sticking a toe back in things. I've missed a lot because of the show I just had to run.
But thanks! and *hugs*
Re:
Date: 2003-02-18 11:11 pm (UTC)*hugs back to ya*
:)
I'm a purple teddy bear jiggledy jiggledy...
Date: 2003-02-19 05:22 pm (UTC)I'm glad that I continued to read. I was very confused. I'm going to look up to see if there is a psychological condition for dead fishes being bashed with huge rocks. See, it just hit me now.
Dan = Man. Man Dan = straight. Non boy dyke (I remember that from reading an entry or some info or something I don't remember)
Frank = Man. Dan & Frank = Penises. 2 Penises do not equal straight. Yup. Just figured that out. And I saw pictures too!!!
But yeah...so I continued to read and everything was made clear and now my knee hurts. You make me smile. I enjoy reading. I'm like wheefun...oh look people have updated their friends list DAN!!! Or actually...strike the dan BEANDELPHIKI!!!! You've updated!!! Now my unborn children can dance in happy glee!!!
Oh, do you get to keep your uterus?