i had a remarkably privileged childhood. including in the weird way that some masculine female-types are able to present masculine enough not to be discounted when they talk, but still get some of the benefits of being a 'girl'--aka, boys won't punch you even when you are being a total ass.
of course, in high school i wasn't out (as anything, to myself or others. i spent the last 2 years of high school dating a 37-year-old man and avoiding most of the hs social scene, so i guess i wasn't exactly normal anyways...), and i think i scared people enough that no one really messed with me. (why i scared people, i don't know, but a lot of people seemed to think i was intimidating.)
since then, my world has opened up, and i am slowly becoming aware of the scope of discrimination in the world and the biases that i've grown up with for so long that it's hard to even see that they are there.
is it my fault that this is the world i have been born into and this is the position in the world that i was born into? no. is it my responsibility to take action to counter the injustice in the world that i identify? yes. am i able to counter all said injustice? no. do i need to beat myself up for not being able to fix it all? no. do i need to do *something* even though i fear that that something is futile or not enough? yes. do i know exactly what it is i should/want to do? no.
heh--that's as far as i've figured it out. let me know if you figure anything else/more out.
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a taste
Date: 2002-07-28 10:18 pm (UTC)i had a remarkably privileged childhood. including in the weird way that some masculine female-types are able to present masculine enough not to be discounted when they talk, but still get some of the benefits of being a 'girl'--aka, boys won't punch you even when you are being a total ass.
of course, in high school i wasn't out (as anything, to myself or others. i spent the last 2 years of high school dating a 37-year-old man and avoiding most of the hs social scene, so i guess i wasn't exactly normal anyways...), and i think i scared people enough that no one really messed with me. (why i scared people, i don't know, but a lot of people seemed to think i was intimidating.)
since then, my world has opened up, and i am slowly becoming aware of the scope of discrimination in the world and the biases that i've grown up with for so long that it's hard to even see that they are there.
is it my fault that this is the world i have been born into and this is the position in the world that i was born into? no. is it my responsibility to take action to counter the injustice in the world that i identify? yes. am i able to counter all said injustice? no. do i need to beat myself up for not being able to fix it all? no. do i need to do *something* even though i fear that that something is futile or not enough? yes. do i know exactly what it is i should/want to do? no.
heh--that's as far as i've figured it out. let me know if you figure anything else/more out.