Drama as an addiction?

So I woke up to a (locked) post in queer_rage this morning over this tripe over in ftm. I keep checking it to see if anyone commenting late has decided to...(okay, the blackfolk parlance here would be "shuffle," but that's not appropriate for me to use, so I'll just say) KISS ASS.

Hasn't happened yet. I'm almost disappointed - am I a drama-seeker, or what?

I am not normally (at least in the last year or so) interested in finding lj-drama to be involved in. I have a nasty temper, but I've also spent many months working on learning to pick battles that matter, and stay out of things guaranteed to drain my emotional energy.

Lately, I've been looking for trouble, I think. And that bothers me. It's not, and never was, healthy.

I think maybe I am (in ADD parlance this time!) stimulation-seeking. I know I did it when I was in a relationship with siegeengine, starting arguments to maintain my focus, but what good did that do? Sure, I was paying attention to the conversation(!) but it upset him and caused - at least to some extent - unnecessary strife. I think it's good to "work stuff out," but I don't know that it's at all helpful to go looking to work out stuff that hasn't really even come up yet.

This, I think, is similar. A few months ago, a fight breaking out on my f-list would have set my stomach churning, now I'm looking for one. This isn't cool.

And I just realized - my (really rather sudden) obsession with lj-drama matches up almost EXACTLY with my quitting caffeine two Thursdays ago so I didn't mess with the Ritalin. Which...really isn't doing much except keeping me alert.


Hmmmm.


It's always one thing or another! Does this ever end?