Wrap Party

Green doesn't go with blue-grey, does it? Hmm.

Last night my mom and I went to see the closing show of Goodnight Desdemona, Good Morning Juliet, and I'm very glad I got to see it because it was FANTASTIC.

Then afterward, I went to the wrap party at the Lib(erty), our campus bar. I went because everyone INSISTED I had to go (I missed opening party), and because our instructors have told us that careers in theatre are made in smokey bars; I figure I might as well get used to it.

I wasn't too pleased with it at first; it just seemed like all those stupid parties everyone went to in high school, only with alcohol. I got depressed earlier when everyone seemed to be jumping down my throat for missing opening, because when I left high school I thought, "That's it, I'll never have to worry about a stupid party again," and then I get out in the "real world" and it's just another party, but bigger. It's like I never graduated.

So I sat in the corner and stared at everyone playing pool (which I don't play), drinking beer (which I hate) and making chit-chat they could have made anywhere, and I wondered what all the fuss was about.

Then I drank.

It suddenly was much more fun.

( WHOOOO! )

*snicker*

Someone left this comment in the fag hag community:

if i was gay... i'd honestly want to be left alone by a bunch of prancing girls. shut up. let gays feel like the normal people they are; that we all are.

Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hahahaha. Haha.

Ha.

Rightly so.

Oh, boy

lexanlet was right.

Stef just called and apparently, after I left last night, David told her that he plans to go for me because I seem gay to him. He asked her to ask me if I'm into him or whatever.

*gulp*

How am I even gonna LOOK at him tomorrow? Oh. my. god.

More on the "David thing"

Okay, just to clear up a little misconception here:

I'M NOT GAY! NOT GAY! NOT GAY! I DON'T WANT DAVID! The Nick thing is over, mmm-kay? It never happened. Return to your regular schedules.

Gah, one of the best things about transition is that I don't have to deal with guys hitting on me anymore. It gives me a COMPLETE panic attack. Panting, sweating, shaking, the whole bit. I don't like it, noooooo. *quaver*

And, um, this has been an overcompensation-type Public Service Announcement. Thank you.

Annnnnd breathe.

Okay.

Now, in the time that has elapsed since my last post, I've been (natch) freaking out a bit. (If you haven't seen it, now would be the time. Otherwise, spoilers ahead!)

I tend to talk to myself when I want to work things out. Yeah, I know that sounds nutty. But I pretend I'm talking to someone else, and I just let my oh-so-wise subconscious take over. I heart my subconscious mind.

In the last little while, I've been talking to myself so much I've nearly gone hoarse. But I'm pretty calm now, and I think I can see things I missed in earlier "now - we panic" moments.

( What I've been considering )