Flirting too much?

[beandelphiki]

It's come to my attention tonight that I have this issue with flirting. Specifically, that I do it too much, even when I don't want to.

I'm not doing it overtly, in the form of comments or anything. I just have this issue where...I kinda smile too much, or I touch people a little too casually, and too often.

It's not even that I really am that attracted to them, or anything. If I even recognize them as fairly attractive people, it happens.

I hate it. It's really an unconscious thing; a bit like being too nice and letting people walk all over you. I smile at people too much like I'm trying to say, "Hey, you're not too bad."

I probably make myself look like a complete idiot.

Comments

[queueball.livejournal.com]

Arrrgh. Story of my (love) life.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

I've known people who seem to have a similar unconscious habit in that they're known for touching people and being almost "too" nice. That said, I'm fairly certain that you are not making yourself look like a complete idiot, based on what I know about these other people and how people think of them. Generally, they're just seen as "touchy-feely" kind of people, and not people who "idiotically flirt all the time when they shouldn't." Generally, people feel rather warm about them, rather than cold.

Not that I think it's a good thing, because there is a certain percentage of the population of the world who will be confused by your actions, and perhaps upset. Also, whenever our bodily actions are incongruent with our thoughts and feelings... it's an indication that something has gone wrong. I know you realize this by your reference to "being too nice and letting people walk all over you" comment.

I'd go with that... I'd try to imagine meeting someone that you'd typically exhibit these behaviors to, and run through the whole scenario in your mind (maybe with some distracting background music on) and try to think about why you're doing what you're doing... what do you get out of it... what are you afraid of that the other person will think or do. You can do this as often as you need to so that you can get some sort of insight into the problem.

Then, maybe try running through the scenario a different way... see yourself acting the way you would prefer to act, and try to see it coming off successfully. See what sort of reactions you might get, and how it would make you feel.

This kind of practicing in your head can be invaluable when it comes to changing actual behavior, especially when you're trying to change an unconscious habit.

...

That said... there is a set up line in there that I can't pass up. Don't take this the wrong way... I'm just a natural comedian and when I see a set up line, I feel a "missed opportunity" if I don't follow it, so please don't get mad if I say:

---

I just have this issue where...I kinda smile too much, or I touch people a little too casually, and too often.

That's it. I'm soooooooooo coming to Canada. XD

[benthecube.livejournal.com]

I agree with siegeengine, there is a certain amount of "touchy-feelyness" that is considered too much by a few people, but all in all it's not such a bad thing. I happen to like touchy-feely people, human contact is something I crave and the attention is just heart warming. Feel free to flirt with me as much as you like, I'll always take it as a compliment.