beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (I will)
[personal profile] beandelphiki
I have so little motivation for lj these days, it's not funny.

It's not a whole ton of effort to make entries, but that's about all I'm doing. Oh, that and commenting to siegeengineFrank. But that's it. I can't even look at my friends page; I'll load it up and stare at the screen without seeing or reading anything.

I feel weird looking at my calender, because it tells me I've made at least one entry every day this month. I can barely believe that, except I know they've been entries that weren't too much work.

I had so many things to write about: my lungs and how they're coming along; my sexuality/identity, since I've gotten questions about siegeengineFrank; other things I can't remember, I'm sure.

I'm lying awake at night, thinking of all the things I have to do in the next few weeks, and whether I can do them. I want to curl up in a ball for the next few weeks and rock until it all goes away.

I wonder if this is what the start of a burnout feels like.

(no subject)

Date: 2003-03-12 09:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loveberry.livejournal.com
*commiserates* A lot of times, when I have a ton of stuff to do, I just sorta shut down. I seem incapable of even doing anything fun, much less starting in on the mountain of responsibility. I keep thinking of all the homework and housework I have, the legal matters that need attention, the research I need to do to choose Alex a school, or even redisgining my LJ or making a new icon. And then I go to sleep. Depression, burnout, whatever you call it, it's being overwhelmed and coping the best I can.

*hugs* I hope you feel better soon ... that kinda ickyness is no fun and hard to shake.

(no subject)

Date: 2003-03-12 09:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] griffen.livejournal.com
*offers you a hug* Or you could just be overworked and overstressed, which happens. Don't lose heart.

You'll be fine.

(no subject)

Date: 2003-03-12 10:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] siegeengine.livejournal.com
Oh... *hugs*

I wonder if this is what the start of a burnout feels like.

Um... that's what full blown burnout feels like. *hugs*
You need to sleep. Try not to worry about things which you can do later. Try not to think about things at night... if you can. Maybe if you meditate on "sleep" then it will help. *sends positive energy vibes*
I wish I could help somehow with all of your work. Burnout is no fun.

It's not long left to go for the year, and then you'll get a huge, long break and you'll have lots of wonderful, fun and relaxing things to do over the summer.

If you feel like it's too much stress... you can unload some of it on me. I have space now, since I've gotten rid of so much of mine. I can shoulder a lot more than this! Let me worry about things for you... like LJ, and... me, and.. um.. hm.. *shrugs* anything else I can.

*gives long relaxing massage*
*especially around your shoulders and neck*
*foot massage*
*back massage*
*fills warm bath and puts lavender oil in it*
*dims lights and plays relaxing classical music*
*kiss*
*hugs*
*love*

(no subject)

Date: 2003-03-12 11:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com
Oh...I thought burnouts got much worse. I was scared I'd end up locking myself in a closet. ;)

I'm usually pretty good at meditating on "sleep," I just haven't had to do it for a while because I'm tired enough to conk when my head hits the pillow. I just need to re-learn the skill.

I need to talk to you about the summer, actually...I'm planning to be working and taking some spring courses (so THIS has less chance of happening next year.) But I'll be taking a week off work (assuming I have a job when you come up.) As for school, it's gonna be two courses. I'm trying to get them both on the same two days (Tues and Thurs) and back-to-back, so I'm at school a minimum of time.

Classical music... ^_^

Love you! *smooch**snoggle*

(no subject)

Date: 2003-03-12 11:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com
Thanks, Griff. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2003-03-12 11:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com
*nods* I'll be okay, I guess. And it's like the man with the hammer. He hit himself with it because it felt so good when he stopped. ;)

Thank you.

Re:

Date: 2003-03-12 11:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] siegeengine.livejournal.com
Ok... I know you'll be busy during summer, so you won't be available 24 hours a day. Um... I think I requested my vacation days already... June um...
I can't remember what days I requested.

It might be hard to coordinate your getting a week off of work at that time, I understand.

I'll find the days when I get to work and post them here, in case that helps.

*smooches and snogs*
I Love You!
too!
;)

(no subject)

Date: 2003-03-12 01:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unintentional.livejournal.com
Skids!

YAY! :D

(no subject)

Date: 2003-03-12 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com
Yay! *much agreement*

Re:

Date: 2003-03-12 03:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unintentional.livejournal.com
I didn't know you read Boy Meets Boy. I love that strip! :D

(no subject)

Date: 2003-03-12 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com
Actually discovered it Friday. I was caught up by Saturday. ;)

gah

Date: 2003-03-12 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haleth.livejournal.com
I spent all day yesterday reading that and still only got about 5 months into it, it loads sooooooo slow. And I'm in serious danger of adding "shibby" to my vocabulary.

somebody help me please

Re:

Date: 2003-03-12 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unintentional.livejournal.com
Aww. If I would have known I would have told you!

Re: gah

Date: 2003-03-12 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beandelphiki.livejournal.com
And I'm in serious danger of adding "shibby" to my vocabulary.

Whoa. Shibby!

*bounce*

:-P

Date: 2003-03-12 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haleth.livejournal.com
Thanks for your support. *eye roll*

I actually have been wondering about your lungs. Are you OK? And also wondering if you've had more therapy appointments, and how that's going.

*hugs*

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