Coworker/coma update
Jul. 6th, 2008 10:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beandelphikiSo my coworker?
Yeah, she didn't make it. Passed away sometime last night, apparently.
Her mom came into the store tonight to give everyone a hug - something which threw me, since I'd expected to have at LEAST another day to decide what to do or say when I saw her. (I mean, really, what do you say??) So I panicked just a little when she walked in the back door.
But she didn't wait for anyone to come up to her; she just started hugging people.
It's awkward how I just don't tend to react emotionally with as much strength or immediacy as other people do. One of my other coworkers was in tears all day; others kept making worried faces or bringing it up. I'm sure they ALL wondered what they should say, but I don't know if anyone wondered how sad they should pretend to be. Anyone but me, anyway. I mean, is that in any way normal?
When my boss walked in the door, I was faintly aware of my face running through test runs of expressions while I watched everyone else, trying to find a face that matched the emotional tone and volume of the room. (No, nobody was looking at me, as I was behind everyone else.) I was primarily concerned with my boss, of course, but a small part of me was uncomfortably aware of the fact that I was performing sorrow more than feeling it.
Nevertheless, I must have done an okay job hiding that, because my boss took one look at me and literally burst into tears on my shoulder. She said, "She loved you guys so much," and I suspect she meant me in particular at that moment. Not necessarily because BD actually loved me more than anyone else; but because both of them have always been vaguely maternal towards me, and BD in particular had always made it a point to tell me she loved me - for what reason, I can't quite guess. Maybe she just thought I needed to be told that a lot.
So I hugged my boss a lot and rubbed her back, and that seems to have been an okay thing to do, because she recovered and eventually she and her older daughter (BD's sister) left.
Apparently she was a wreck this morning, and the people who remember when she lost her father have suggested that we may need to keep a close eye on the management side of things for ourselves for a while.
My poor boss. She has practically nothing except this business, and then there were her two daughters. I can't imagine, but it must be incredibly hard.
Yeah, she didn't make it. Passed away sometime last night, apparently.
Her mom came into the store tonight to give everyone a hug - something which threw me, since I'd expected to have at LEAST another day to decide what to do or say when I saw her. (I mean, really, what do you say??) So I panicked just a little when she walked in the back door.
But she didn't wait for anyone to come up to her; she just started hugging people.
It's awkward how I just don't tend to react emotionally with as much strength or immediacy as other people do. One of my other coworkers was in tears all day; others kept making worried faces or bringing it up. I'm sure they ALL wondered what they should say, but I don't know if anyone wondered how sad they should pretend to be. Anyone but me, anyway. I mean, is that in any way normal?
When my boss walked in the door, I was faintly aware of my face running through test runs of expressions while I watched everyone else, trying to find a face that matched the emotional tone and volume of the room. (No, nobody was looking at me, as I was behind everyone else.) I was primarily concerned with my boss, of course, but a small part of me was uncomfortably aware of the fact that I was performing sorrow more than feeling it.
Nevertheless, I must have done an okay job hiding that, because my boss took one look at me and literally burst into tears on my shoulder. She said, "She loved you guys so much," and I suspect she meant me in particular at that moment. Not necessarily because BD actually loved me more than anyone else; but because both of them have always been vaguely maternal towards me, and BD in particular had always made it a point to tell me she loved me - for what reason, I can't quite guess. Maybe she just thought I needed to be told that a lot.
So I hugged my boss a lot and rubbed her back, and that seems to have been an okay thing to do, because she recovered and eventually she and her older daughter (BD's sister) left.
Apparently she was a wreck this morning, and the people who remember when she lost her father have suggested that we may need to keep a close eye on the management side of things for ourselves for a while.
My poor boss. She has practically nothing except this business, and then there were her two daughters. I can't imagine, but it must be incredibly hard.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-07-07 05:11 am (UTC)My condolences, thoughts and good wishes for her family, and for you and your work family.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-07-07 05:54 am (UTC)i'm sorry.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-07-07 06:24 am (UTC)And you're normal. Sometimes it just takes a while - right now it sounds like you're in taking-care-of-everyone-else mode.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-07-07 08:22 am (UTC)And yeah, sounds quite normal to me. I know that I myself have performed sorrow or other emotions on occasions when they would have been appropriate, but just didn't happen. I'm fairly sure a lot of people do it.
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-07-07 02:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-07-07 06:12 pm (UTC)My condolences to all. I'm so sorry :-(