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beandelphikiWow.
You know what really sucks?
When someone who you've now known online for approximately a couple of years, who you felt really close to for an e-buddy, whose friendship you trusted totally and implicitly...removes you. Because, y'know, you two aren't commenting to each other, because your respective lives are spinning busily off on different schedules and you don't talk online much anymore. The usual El Jay reasons for removing someone.
Without a WORD to you. That's...
It's been a while since a removal from someone's list made me do much more than shrug. Usually it's because we disagreed too strongly on something, or didn't click. That doesn't apply here.
Now, this person is going through some really, really tough times right now. I can understand that they might be withdrawing a lot. I will most likely forgive them if they want to renew the e-friendship at some future date. But I can't be THAT understanding today, and it will not be the same friendship at some point down the line.
I almost always forgive, but I am not stupid enough to forget.
I've been wondering recently if it is a mistake for me to have spent the last several years refusing to put effort into relationships. I have no interest anymore in romance or sex. I have no "friends" other than those who might qualify on my friends list...my last offline friend moved to Japan to teach English, and as we haven't spoken in over a year, I honestly don't know where we'd stand with each other anymore. I barely have any contact with my father, and I no longer really speak to my sister. My mother and I go through dramatic shifts of attitude toward each other, but she is probably the one person other than my coworkers in offline life that I don't hate.
Is it smart, I've asked myself, to be narrowing your focus more and more to the various kinds of work you can accomplish with your life? To be devoting yourself more to that and less to anything outside yourself and your own interests? It seems fine now, but will this seem like a mistake in 20 years, in 40? Will you regret it?
It's as if the universe has decided to answer my repeated silent questions about the worth of people. The worth of trust.
I vow I will not trust anymore.
Humanity has never yet failed to disappoint me in every possible imaginable way.
You know what really sucks?
When someone who you've now known online for approximately a couple of years, who you felt really close to for an e-buddy, whose friendship you trusted totally and implicitly...removes you. Because, y'know, you two aren't commenting to each other, because your respective lives are spinning busily off on different schedules and you don't talk online much anymore. The usual El Jay reasons for removing someone.
Without a WORD to you. That's...
It's been a while since a removal from someone's list made me do much more than shrug. Usually it's because we disagreed too strongly on something, or didn't click. That doesn't apply here.
Now, this person is going through some really, really tough times right now. I can understand that they might be withdrawing a lot. I will most likely forgive them if they want to renew the e-friendship at some future date. But I can't be THAT understanding today, and it will not be the same friendship at some point down the line.
I almost always forgive, but I am not stupid enough to forget.
I've been wondering recently if it is a mistake for me to have spent the last several years refusing to put effort into relationships. I have no interest anymore in romance or sex. I have no "friends" other than those who might qualify on my friends list...my last offline friend moved to Japan to teach English, and as we haven't spoken in over a year, I honestly don't know where we'd stand with each other anymore. I barely have any contact with my father, and I no longer really speak to my sister. My mother and I go through dramatic shifts of attitude toward each other, but she is probably the one person other than my coworkers in offline life that I don't hate.
Is it smart, I've asked myself, to be narrowing your focus more and more to the various kinds of work you can accomplish with your life? To be devoting yourself more to that and less to anything outside yourself and your own interests? It seems fine now, but will this seem like a mistake in 20 years, in 40? Will you regret it?
It's as if the universe has decided to answer my repeated silent questions about the worth of people. The worth of trust.
I vow I will not trust anymore.
Humanity has never yet failed to disappoint me in every possible imaginable way.
