Bleh

[beandelphiki]

It seems like everything that comes out of my mouth is wrong. And no one has told me that it is, I'm just convinced that everything I am saying and doing lately is a mistake. It's a weird amount of paranoia. I posted a comment in Griffen's journal to ask him about polyamory...and I said that I wasn't sure if he had experience with that. And, good god, I know he does. He talks about it enough. I know that. I know that. Why am I not sure all of a sudden? I feel like I'm afraid to say the sky is blue; I might be wrong. For days, all I've done is make stupid mistakes that fuck things up for people.

Okay. Okay. Stop.

(I should note that my comment in Griffen's journal got FOUR responses, and that three of those people I don't know, and have never talked to before. I have no words for how UBERCOOL that is. I will get to that post, Griffen.)

I also am going to get to those emails. I am. I was going to last night, actually, but I didn't when I realized I wanted to read everything over again, and maybe understand it a little better. I think I do.

I feel both rushed to get to it, and worried that if I rush, I'll mess it up some more. I'm rushed partly because I'm on running crew for Nightingale, which is opening very soon. Starting tomorrow, I have to be in for Tech Week. My calls are probably going to start early and end around midnight for...I'm not quite sure how long. Definitely until Monday. And I won't have time to do much more than eat and sleep for those days.

Neh...I had more to get down, but for some reason, it's gone.

Maybe that's a good thing?

Comments

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

Wow! I had no idea you were going to be so incredibly busy like, right now.
I should have known... You're always talking about how you have no time...

I'm realizing that we're probably not going to have much contact until at least Monday, if not after. That's cool. I don't want to distract you in the least from school. So... I'm cool, and I'm feeling much better lately... esp since Lester seems to be improving. I've been thinking a lot about things and am much happier in general about everything... and I've been feeling more effusive about my feelings and all.

I hope you have a great show!!
*big hugs*

Love, me

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

Boy, you sure seem to delete posts a lot these days. Unless...no, let's say you deleted them. And I was very happen to see that anon comment gone when I last went to look. I don't know what "DASOB" means, but I didn't much like the looks of it. Anon comments all in capitals reads "hostile" to me.

I don't mind the business, but I sure mind the timing...it's frustrating. But I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. That makes me happy. :)

*big huge hugs back* and *love*

Re:

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

*hugses*

you sure seem to delete posts a lot these days *hugs*

I do! I do! hehe I'm trying not to be so negative... but I keep catching myself. *hugs*

Lost the anon, yes. I don't know who that was but I didn't like the sound of it either. ;) *smothers you*

And, yes... feeling much better! But still so anxious to hear about Lester... *crossing fingers*

Actually, let me go check...
Yayyy!!!! :)) *spins around* Lester is ok!!! *hugs your cat*
*spins cat around*
*applies topical ointment to your cat*

:)))
*big huge hugs* and hope you have a fantastic weekend!!!
Love you muchly,
me

*snog*
;)))

[beandelphiki.livejournal.com]

Lost the anon, yes. I don't know who that was but I didn't like the sound of it either. ;) *smothers you*

MMmmmph.*confuzzled* Wish I knew what it had meant...



Heh, I don't think Lester wants to be spun around...he's all sitting in a corner cringing because he doesn't like the ointment. Oh, well, he'll be running around being a brat again sooon.

Love you, too (and it REALLY sounds like you feel better!)

*smooch*

[griffen.livejournal.com]

All the people who responded to you are cool people, too, btw.

And some of them are even more knowledgable about poly than I am.

*offers hugs*

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

MMmmmph.*confuzzled* Wish I knew what it had meant...
Shhh... shhh... *muffles your protests with a kiss*
It was nothing... nothing... *snogs and snogs*
Mmm... nothing at all... *smooches*
N...
what were we talking about?? ;)

Love you, Love you,
Love, me.

*snuggles*