Whyyyy?

Mar. 19th, 2009 10:33 am
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (make it stop)
*deep breath*

I really wish people would just rent a laptop and book a study room when they need to do a group project on a computer.

I guess that's not really fair - college students can't go throwing money around, even if it's not much to rent a laptop - but how did I end up sitting across from the three loudest girls in the room, working on a project? And the loudest one has a new tongue stud, or braces, or SOMETHING, because she sounds like she has marbles in her mouth.

Also, my wrist hurts. And the keys on the computers in the lab are so old and sticky you practically need to smack each one with a mallet.

Maybe I should go rent a laptop.


Edit: The lab monitor just told them to shut up. HEE.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (I'm on SPEEED!)
I'm sitting in a computer lab right now taking notes off a PowerPoint (oh god, horribly behind AGAIN - how does this HAPPEN??!), and I'm listening to the sound of typing happening all around me, and I had to stop to type myself. I don't really have anything TO type as of yet, but I felt the very desperate NEED to type something. So I am.

I think this, more than anything, demonstrates that typing has become my primary mode of written expression. Years ago, I would have been more likely to be typing and would have felt the desperate need to write something down by hand. Now I am so much more comfortable typing; I can nearly keep up with the flow of my thoughts this way, which is something I could never, ever manage to accomplish when writing by hand. My graphic motor skills are just too weak for me ever to print with any speed, and I cannot write in cursive at all.

(I don't know if this is good or bad for my RSI, since both typing and writing aggravate it. It's just something I'll have to deal with as I go along, but I think at this point typing is actually the better option because I'm more relaxed at it...AS LONG AS my workstation is physically suitable, and I take breaks.)

So by the time I get to a class which is very heavy on hand-written notes (i.e. med school, if that EVER happens, which I am doubting more and more each day), I am going to NEED a notebook computer to take notes on, or I'll never keep up.

Feeling a bit better now that I've typed a bit. I don't want to spam you guys, so I'll just add to this post behind a cut if I feel the strong urge to type some more.

Also, random note: all my mood icons will appear as red x's for a bit because falling asleep in front of Livejournal is really HELL on my bandwidth. (Which I've been doing a lot because our computer monitor is so buggered right now that it keeps dying on me every few minutes, which means I stay up much later trying to work in between it's little fits, which means I'm that much more tired, which means...UGH, FML.)

Cuuut, it's a cuuut, which doesn't have the same ring as snaaaake, but whatever )
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (RSI - wrist)
Quite unexpectedly, I had a Who-related dream last night. (I say, "unexpectedly," because I NEVER dream about anything fannish.) But me being me and very literal...it was a meta-ish dream about Who FANDOM:

I dreamt that the screencapped moment I posted about last turned out to be played much more seriously than anyone expected. (Har-har brain - nice wishful thinking!) And Who fandom EXPLODED in wank. And when I went to view [livejournal.com profile] doctorwho, someone had posted big spoilers on the comm's front page because they were so caught up in complaining about how that moment was played.

And in my dream, I worked out the time zone difference, realized that if the ep had already aired in the U.K., then it was past noon here, and then -

- I SNAPPED AWAKE in pure panic because I thought I had overslept. Half an hour before my alarm was actually set to go off.

Yeah. As Who-related dreams go, it's certainly not what I would have hoped for. Stupid literal brain of mine! (I can't actually dream about the Doctor, Donna, or the Whoniverse - it's Not Real, see.)

But I guess...at least I got up on time? Meh.


Also, my wrists hurt. It's not as bad as it could be, and I know this is my own fault because I've been online too much and sleeping too little, but, well... I'm feeling melancholy, and I just don't want to be in pain today. I've been in pain all week already for other reasons, and I've been sick to my stomach from painkillers for two days. So I just don't need this.

My day's barely started, and I think I'm already running low on spoons, to borrow a phrase. *sighs*
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([work] customers suck)
And while I'm in a pissy mood, I want to add that I don't understand how you work with someone who has a repetitive strain injury FOR A YEAR, ask concerned questions like, "How are your wrists doing?" FOR A YEAR, get worried if you say your wrists are doing badly FOR A YEAR, and then AFTER A YEAR, suddenly come out one day with:

"You know, not to be mean, but I don't really believe there is such a thing as carpal tunnel."

EXCUSE ME? Why, I wonder, have I not heard this before? Is it because the wrist braces have been gone for a while? Is it "safer" now to air that stupidity?

This doubt belongs to Boss's Daughter, and she apparently finds the existence of RSIs doubtful because she worked in the same job at Subway for six years with no trouble, but a coworker of hers there developed symptoms after six months. Even after I pointed out that multiple factors go into the development of RSIs, and that some people are undoubtedly genetically predisposed, she's still repeating the same crap about how she doesn't get why someone could work in the same job for years and not get it, too.


What the hell. This is the SAME GIRL who wants people to believe that she suffers EXCRUCIATING on-and-off back pain - for which she's collected disability pay - from an injury sustained while lifting a five-pound box of cheese slices.

But this is somehow more "real" than injuries I've sustained from YEARS of computer use. Injuries that I have used to predict the weather - which I gave independent reports of to her, and which she confirmed via her back injury. (And no, for the record, I don't disbelieve that she's really got a back injury. But it boggles my mind that she could deny the reality of my injury with a backstory for hers like THAT. Five pounds of cheese, guys.)


What gives some people the bloody nerve?! Really now.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (hurt my shoulder)
My "To-Do" list for the start of this week is mostly completed, w00t. Soup's put away, dishes are soaking, I even cleaned out the microwave a good bit before I sat down to eat. (It's not spotless, but it needed to be cleaned, so every bit helps. I'll maybe get the rotation plate later.) Library books are renewed, a tape is in the VCR for House, my uniform is in the dryer. Whee!

Oh, and I need to feed the cats in twenty. Just remembered that. *adds*

(I figured I might try making use of lj's to-do feature, since I'm on here so much. I also have a to-do on my Google home page, but I haven't been using that because it's too simplistic. The one thing I dislike about this one is you can't cross things off. Crossing things off is the most satisfying part of to-do lists!)

For my doctor's visit tomorrow, I have to decide what to discuss, because it won't be the longest visit.

List of ongoing medical stuff )

Meh. And I have an even longer list than this, too. It feels like all I'm doing these days is existing between doctor's visits. That's no way to be going about things, but I'm not sure what else I could be doing differently.

I'm pleased, however, with my increased ability to get the smaller stuff done these days. I have some bigger projects I need to start planning to approach.

Ho hum.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (say what?)
Okay, I realize I've been away from Livejournal from an exceedingly long time. I never meant to be; but then, I'm sure that if I sat down and CHOSE, for my own good, to take a several-week hiatus from posting and reading my friends list, I would never stick to it. But I've been feeling sort of...dysthymic, I guess, detached and run down and sad. I don't know if that's just subconscious worrying about my various health concerns, or lasting fallout from the burnout I went through last year. Or both! Meh.

I don't know if it really HELPED to be away from the computer so much. I've had a fair bit on my mind, but I haven't been writing it down because my home computer setup makes my wrist/arm pain flare badly. I considered just writing a little bit at a time in private entries, and posting them when they were complete, but events and shifts in your life always progress so fast that by the time I had an entry half-done, it was terribly out of date. Oh, well.

But now I'm back in school and finally have access to my laptop again (which was in for virus-related repairs), and I don't seem to have as much trouble with pain with my laptop. So I'll see if getting stuff off my chest in this format again helps or not.



I woke up this morning to the radio DJs discussing the weather in Nevada. Yup, the cold snap down there is even news up here! One of them - the guy on the station I set my alarm to, I don't even know his name after four years of wake-up chatter - commented that a friend of his is currently visiting Las Vegas, where the temperature is currently -1°C. And then, he added, the projected high for the day is 9°C.

"Nine," he said. "NINE. Can you believe it? My friend said she was walking down the street outside yesterday, and it was 'nice and brisk.' But that's just wrong. It's not supposed to be brisk in Nevada."

I found this weather site for the state of Nevada, which hasn't gone higher for the Las Vegas area than 3°C in the time I've been watching. WILD.

Also, check out this state map for weather warnings - Nevada actually doesn't have any, but sections of California have "winter weather advisory"s on 'em, and then there's "freeze warning"s.


(What in fresh hell is a "freeze warning"?! Is that a warning that the temperature is below zero? *amused*)


My mom was telling me yesterday about her American friends complaining about the weather where they are, and while she teased them a tad, she told me we shouldn't dismiss their cold concerns - their houses further south, she told me, are not built like ours are to withstand the cold. (And of course, I'm sure people in Nevada lack proper clothing for the weather they're experiencing.) All Canadian snickering aside, I feel for the poor cold people in the normally hot states.

Huddle for warmth, y'all, no weather lasts forever! *sends 'em all virtual hot chocolate and mittens*


...In the meantime, it's surprisingly warm up here, despite the fact that it's snowing - around minus five.

GLOBAL WARMING IS SUCH A HOAX, EH?

PSA

Aug. 25th, 2006 09:06 am
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (Default)
Note to my friendslist:

I AM STILL ALIVE.

My online time is significantly reduced at the moment, though. I have the name for a chiropractor to see who does Active Release Therapy - apparently, that's supposed to be good for various types of RSI. So hopefully, that all works out. In the meantime though, I've discovered that only an hour or so of scrolling reduces my right arm to a bundle of wildly spasming muscles (like, I lay it on the table and watch it jump around), so I'm mostly laying off the internets when I can for now.

Sadly, to be kept up on my life doesn't take much. I can probably sum it up in bullet points:

-I'm really tired this morning. Didn't sleep last night. Which is...shoot me, because I'm trying to fight off a stupid cold my sister gave me.

-I now own House, M.D., season two. w00t, the blooper reel is the best.

-I'm getting a raise and a promotion in September - I'll finally be a supervisor, and going up to $10/hour. My life's exciting like that.

-I don't recall if I posted about this, but a while back, we had a guy come to Taco Time and try to use a stolen credit card. Luckily, I held on to the card, and when the message, "RETAIN CARD, CALL BANK," came up, I went straight to my super with it - apparently someone reported it stolen a mere 15 minutes before he tried to use it with us. He took off, but he's supposed to have hit at least four other store in our food court, so the police really want to catch him.

Now they want me to identify him from a lineup. Meh, I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing - people can look pretty different in photos, and my memory's not the greatest. Mom says there's an episode of NUMB3RS that deals with the problems with the traditional lineup, so she says she'll pull out the DVD, and I can watch it.

Okay, off to work.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (*stress*)
I think I'm losing my hands.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (Default)
Huh! I had no idea [livejournal.com profile] disabled_rage existed. (It seems to be relatively new, though. I found it on some pretty random "checking out other people's communities"-type browsing.)

None of the rage communities are officially "affiliated" with each other (in fact, I recall [livejournal.com profile] feminist_rage giving up the _rage idea just a bit grudgingly to the [livejournal.com profile] porn_rage creators, as if they were afraid people would not be able to tell the communities apart), but I kinda feel like there should be some way to find a list of the existing ones.

Mainly because a lot of people I know would like to be aware of the existence of several, if not all, of them. Overlapping issues and such.

So...for those on my list to whom it most applies (if you aren't there already): there's a [livejournal.com profile] disabled_rage, if you wanted to apply for membership.


In more personal news, I went to my doctor today.

Ultrasound report - there's good news, and there's bad news. Also, I may be developing carpal tunnel )
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (*stress*)
If I don't post for a while (oh god, how many of my posts start like this?!), it's because I am having trouble typing. Heck...trouble using a computer. (Edit: Not like you can tell from the length of this entry. *eyerolls*)

The whole cut-my-finger-on-a-drink-lid thing? Where I got some hand-wrist hurtie like some sort of RSI?

Yeah, still have that. But it's gotten worse, and isn't leaving. It hurts from my armpits and shoulders down to my fingers on my right side. (And now, if I still have armpit pain from the ultrasound, I can't tell it apart anymore...if it IS apart. The timing is so close together, god knows what's going wrong now.)

First I bought an elastic wrist support when it hurt too much to let my wrist move freely. (And I was dropping people's food, which is generally considered to be a bad idea.) And then a brace, when it hurt too much to let my wrist move at all. And then a bigger, stiffer brace, because the smaller one didn't come far enough down my arm to cover all the main pain points. (Although the small one I can actually put on at work. Gloves even JUST fit over it, although I'm sure it's a comedy act to watch me try to roll burritos with it on.)

How do genuinely disabled people DO this? After one day of endless repetitions of, "What did you DO to yourself?" and disapproving/amazed looks at the brace, I was ready to CHOKE someone.

As I told my mother, the next person who asks me that gets told, "The batteries were dead."

So yeah...

Work yesterday was fun )

That's pretty much what's going on. I'm typing a lot by holding pens in my hands, and pressing the keys with them. And scrolling and whatnot as much as possible with "page up" and "page down," although for more precise scrolling I HAVE to use a mouse...I've got our rubber bottle-opener pad with me, and if I brush the scroll button with it, I don't have to move my hands much.

...This keeps up though, and I'll be pushing keys with my NOSE.

Things that do not seem to help significantly:

-elevation
-ice packs (maybe just because I can't feel it, it seems better, but the second my wrist warms up, it's as bad as before)
-Advil Liqui-Gels (I almost took the daily maximum yesterday, with no notable change)
-my asthma meds, which are corticosteroids (I had to take them anyway, I wasn't abusing them, but I DID watch for a change and saw none)

...And bracing basically only seems to help because movement hurts, and there's not much movement in a brace. Other than that...nothing's worked.

*sigh* Good thing I have a doc appointment tomorrow for the ultrasound report.

I think maybe I'll go try treating this with alcohol. You know, like vodka or something. Lots of vodka.


Before I go, though! I want to throw out a big e-shoutout to the asshole who BODYCHECKED me on the obviously-braced side so that he could beat me to the last seat on the C-train on the shaded side.

GO FUCK YOURSELF, ASSHOLE. I hope some little old lady "accidentally" hits you in the groin with her cane.


...I would also like to report that I can use a can-opener backwards, and I have new respect for the left-handed. Fear my skillz.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (*stress*)
Okay, I generally don't want to complain overly much about when I feel crappy or am in pain. (Although I think that I probably do so more on lj than anywhere else... Lord, this is the third or fourth post in a row on health issues. ENOUGH ALREADY! I need something else to talk about.)

I don't know if it sounds silly or ablist to say so, but often, if I'm having a crappy day, I'll weigh that against my mental benchmark of serious disability or chronic pain (not that the two are at all mutually exclusive), and generally come out of that train of thought feeling fairly well-off. I'm not (I don't think) trying to romanticize disability/chronic pain or anything, I just figure it seems rather petty to bitch when it could be much more painful. Tired? Well, stop complaining, it could be Chronic Fatigue! And then I just feel silly with myself, and try to drop the pity party.


Today though, pretty much everything went wrong at once )

All in all today...I just wanted to GO. HOME.

I was scheduled to close the store today, but since we really only needed three people and there was four of us - me, fellow cashier Shay, Ben in the back and Kevin, supervisor and rail boy - Kevin figured I could leave early. Great! Wonderful!

Except that he ended up sending Shay early instead. Why? Because she had dumbass friends come by and stand in front of the till loudly making "inappropriate sexual comments" (his words, I don't know exactly what he means), and since she wouldn't get rid of them when he asked, and HE didn't have the balls to tell them to fuck off, he sent her home early to get rid of them.

NOT.

HAPPY.

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beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (Default)
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