beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] Ten & Donna - come on!)
Way back in, oh, November, a [radical? I think] feminist blogger on Wordpress who goes by the moniker Nine Deuce posted a series which she called, "BDSM (the sexual equivalent of being into renaissance faires)."

It's a deeply insulting series of posts. (Both to BDSM practitioners AND people into Renaissance Faires!) She basically condemns all kink with the accusation that it is merely misogyny writ large and in PVC shirts (okay, the PVC clothes ARE kind of stupid), and claims that there is NO way to eroticise power or pain which is not unhealthy and hateful towards women.

[Women, because she focuses almost entirely on M/f relationships - that is, male dominants/tops and female submissives/bottoms. This is pretty typical of "feminist deconstructions" of BDSM, because they will ALL claim that nearly all BDSM is M/f. Relationships which are F/m are generally ignored or dismissed with the notion that the men in these relationships are all taking on some sort of "feminine" role (not necessarily true, and not necessarily bad - OH NOES, a feminine male! but nevermind), and the assertion that F/m relationships are a "mirror image" of patriarchy and therefore don't need to be talked about because they're the same thing anyway. Which is the laziest critical examination ever.]

And, well, when the kinky blogosphere got a hold of it...it was derided, of course. But mostly, people were really annoyed and offended. Argument broke out in the comments between the radical feminists and the kinksters, and it has been going on ever since.

I guess you can probably tell what side I'm on. Mark my words, some of the things the kinky people have said in the comments have made me cringe at how thoughtless they were. Some of those comments, no mistake, definitely hold up some observations about sexism in the BDSM community. (But then, what community ISN'T sexist...?) There's no doubt - and you'll never hear me claim otherwise - that there isn't a lot of stuff called, "BDSM," which is deeply disturbing.

For the most part though, the comments from the radical feminists have been reactionary, extreme and devoid of any nuance. (The best part? Someone who commented to one of the posts in the series to say that she wasn't able to keep reading the comments when (emphasis mine), "the torturers started talking amongst themselves." LOLWHUT.) They have turned down all offers to discuss the matter elsewhere, to look and see the sorts of conversations kinky people have amongst themselves about EXACTLY these issues, etc. They've dug through other people's kink-related blogs to find things they find "nasty" to drag back to show off. It's ugly.

Not too many people are really trying to discuss the issue in a genuinely thoughtful way. Basically, it's just a whole lot of people shouting past each other. "How DISGUSTING. How APPALLING. What about the CHILDREN! You people make me sick! YOU'RE JUST LIKE THE NAZIS!!1" (Yes, really. It's in there somewhere. God knows where - after hundreds of comments, you lose track.)

The kinky people haven't exactly kept their cool, either (there's been a lot of, "STFU!" from the kinky side, but then - that tends to be most people's reaction, I'd think, to being told over and over you're sick and dangerous).

It's just a big mess.

So why would I comment there?

I'm not sure why I did. Maybe because I've been yearning lately to be more openly honest about some of the things I've figured out about my own sexuality. Maybe because I've had interactions with some of the kinky people in the comments in the past, and they have always struck me as good, sane, thoughtful people.

Maybe I just wanted to post and say, Look, I'm just human too. I don't feel like some of these people can look at someone kinky and genuinely see their humanity. They just see some people who are brainwashed victims, and some people who are scary and dangerous predators.

They don't see the respect kinky people have expressed for their partners, and they don't see the love.


So I outed myself.


I posted this to Nine Deuce's follow-up post, "A Question for Doms," in which she asked dominants and tops (read: sadists) what the appeal of it is. I wanted to save this here for my own records. What follows may be more than anyone EVER wanted to know about me, so click at your own risk. If you see this post and want to comment on anything ABOVE the cut without reading this, I'm totally not offended.

This may be textually NSFW )
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (*facepalm*)
Doing some more Calibrated Peer Reviews.

Seriously, I could CRY. On our last round, two out of three essays I marked were terrible. This round (writing a lab report introduction from a provided procedure/materials/results write-up) also seems to be following that pattern - the last one I marked was SO bad I was forced to flunk it. It's the first one I've actually flunked. And the one I'm looking at now isn't much better - if it actually isn't worse.

*skims* Okay...it's worse. Jesus. HOW are these people ever going to work in a laboratory if they can't bloody read basic instructions?! E.g. DON'T put the procedure in a lab report introduction! Both have! Neither have a hypothesis! Both re-state the results! Which, obviously, are already IN the "results" section of this hypothetical report.

And neither paper so far has been able to follow APA format - holy fuck, the one I'm looking at now cites one source as, "Adobe Acrobat file." OMFG.

Why can't I just write, "You've got to be fucking kidding me," on these? Because I really, really want to.


...I don't drink, so I can't drink heavily to get through this. Maybe I'll deal by going and looking for some pr0n again. Even if it's bad, it's bound to be better than THIS.



Also, my image host appears to have been abducted by aliens. Like, the site isn't even there anymore. Buh? Possibly they just had a major server crash or something, but if it's not back in a day or so, I guess I'll be re-uploading everything somewhere else.

Does Scrapbook actually work for mood icons? Since I'm paid up for a while, I might as well take advantage of it if it'll work.

NO. FAIL.

Dec. 10th, 2008 11:50 am
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." ([DW] Raxacoricophallapatorian PLEASE!)
Holy fuck, the internets are being so stupid lately.


I'm going through another one of those cycles (it always goes in cycles because I bite my tongue for a while, and then give up on doing so - lather, rinse, repeat!) where every. single. goddamn. reply. in my inbox is, WTF I AM NOT RACIST JUST BECAUSE I AM SAYING RACIST BULLCRAP STFU and YOU THINK YOURE SO CLEVER DONT YOU WELL YOURE NOT SO SMART STFU.

I hate you all, you ignorant jackasses.

GO AWAY.


Thank god I have a haircut to get, Christmas shopping to do, and exams to study for. I have excuses to make myself get off the stupid goddamn internet and away from all its stupid goddamn PEOPLE.

Now I just have to deal with the idiots at the mall.

I CAN HAS DESERTED ISLAND IN THE PACIFIC NAO?



P.S. To the newest person to add me (if you're actually watching this, you know who you are): adding only people in Native American-related communities (or so it appears) when you have no entries in your own journal kinda makes you look like a troll. Just sayin'.

If you're not a troll, I'd advise you to expand your interests and maybe post some things in your journal so people can get an idea of what you're like.

Also, I'm actually white.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (fierce!)
You guys notice that, "Writer's Block" topic the other day, about September being ADHD month? I did. I wish I hadn't. Oh lord, the level of stupid when I clicked. Why did I click, why, why, why...

I was doing my best to ignore the idiotic posts and focus on the funny ones, but one jumped out at me: a guy stating that he believes vaccines, food additives and "flicker rates" on our televisions cause ADHD. Yup.

I couldn't resist replying to that. Obviously, we didn't see eye-to-eye, but the brief exchange remained civil. I would have left it at that except for one part in his reply to me about how genetics might be the cause of ADHD after all because stupid people breed more. I replied to say that while, yes, ADHD people have more children at a younger age, ADHD != stupid.

I also said I was dropping the topic, as I didn't want him to get the impression I was going to drag out the [largely non-productive] conversation for days. I thought that was polite.

The reply I got in my inbox:


I really don't need to be informed of when you think you are done with a topic. If you are done, you simply won't reply; it really is quite visibly insecure to try to "drop it" so vocally.


LOL WUT.

And here I thought it was just web courtesy to let someone know whether the interaction will be continuing or not if you're not familiar with each other.

The rest was a bunch of nonsense about how maybe I'm insecure because I'm gay (because my info says I'm queer, and queer = gay, right?), and it was condescending of me to, you know, state facts about rates at which ADHD people breed. Er?

And blah, blah, I'M NOT BUTTHURT AT ALL. LISTEN TO FOUR PARAGRAPHS ABOUT HOW MUCH I DON'T CARE THAT YOU CLEARLY THINK I'M A MORON FOR MY TOTALLY UNSUPPORTABLE BULLSHIT OPINIONS. IF YOU REPLY I WIN BTW.

I DISTRUST THE ESTABLISHMENT SO FUCK YOU I'M A DRAGON EDGY.

Haaaa...!


I really can't remember the last time I got an attacking comment like that which actually made me stop, giggle, and wonder if the other person was on drugs when they wrote it.

EPIC FAIL.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (aaah!)
Another one for the, "the universe hates me," file:

The last school I applied to was Mount Royal College. Not my first choice, but the U of C fell through over a bunch of red tape. Mount Royal was nearly the same deal - they needed change-of-name forms that I'd long since lost all my copies of - but since Mount Royal's deadlines are so much more relaxed than the U of C's, I was able to get them a copy before the deadline for transcripts (which was August 1).

I personally hand-delivered that copy to the Registrar's Office on July 29. At the time, the woman who took the form told me they would now be able to start processing my application. Which I took to mean, "We now have all your documents."

Apparently NOT. Despite the fact that it was only 3 days from the deadline and she had my records open in front of her at the time, the woman I spoke to did not bother to tell me that they hadn't received my SAIT transcripts yet.

So for the past two weeks and some, I've been merrily going along thinking my application was being processed, and waiting to hear yay or nay.

I was starting to get concerned though, and when my sister received HER acceptance letter to their General Studies program (something which, incidentally, I can only WISH I had taken when I was able) on Tuesday, I thought WTF is the delay, it's mid-August!

So I logged on to MyMRC, and it tells me that I'm missing documents.

It just gets worse )

Long story short: never trust the administrative staff at a post-secondary institution to do anything right. And I mean, NEVER. You'd THINK I'd have learned that lesson by now, but no.

I should have logged in to MyMRC a while back and double-checked stuff. I should have contacted SAIT when I didn't get an official receipt by the last week of July. So many things to kick MYSELF for now, too, besides being annoyed that SAIT screwed up so badly.

I really hope there is still room in Mount Royal's BSc program. I will just CRY at this point if I don't get in, and I'm stuck working for another year.


So NOTHING I meant to do yesterday got done, and I passed out in exhaustion when I got home, so nothing got done then, either. I'm still incredibly tired, so I guess I'm going back to bed. I'm so sorry to the people I owe various things; I will work on them when I get home from work tonight.

Ooh, and also? While I'm complaining? The insides of my ears itch SO BAD right now, but if I take a 12-hour allergy pill NOW, it will be wearing off during dinner tonight. Which would be BAD, especially if I end up on rail making the food. So I need to wait a few hours. Which, ARGH. The itching is driving me NUTS.

WHY.

ME.

Man.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (*headdesk*)
Ganked from my friendslist:

Religious Americans: My faith isn't the only way
Survey shows growing religious tolerance when it comes to different faiths


Generally a thought-provoking article, but for one truly headdesk-worthy line:

Another finding almost defies explanation: 21 percent of self-identified atheists said they believe in God or a universal spirit, with 8 percent "absolutely certain" of it.

THIS JUST IN: 29 percent of Americans har, make that 21 percent of American atheists and ignore my math stupid (thanks [livejournal.com profile] cacahuate) ARE TOO STUPID TO LIVE.

What part of "atheist" do these folk not understand?!

The prefix "a-" means "NOT" OR "WITHOUT," people!

IT MEANS U CANNOT HAS.

*HEADDESK*
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (SHUT UP!)
Pet peeve:

People who post links to feature/interest/puff pieces and say, "OMG WHY IS THIS NEWS?!!"


IT'S NOT.

SHUT UP.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (EPIC FAIL!)
WTF to people in [livejournal.com profile] doctorwho freaking out over the setting of the next episode being posted.

Yeah, normally I'd err on the side of caution when it comes to spoilers.

But it's the next. episode!


Seriously, what the hell? Do these people get angry with the BBC for showing teaser commercials of the upcoming episodes all week? Is the episode somehow THAT much more special if you don't know the setting up until the moment it appears on your screen? Is there some extra, incomparable thrill there?

NEXT. EPISODE. CHRIST.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (bitch please)
Just logged in.

Jesus, is lj EVER going to stop with it's re-designing obsession?

And are lj design staff EVER going to actually consider people's real screen resolutions? Mine is a perfectly standard 1024x768 pixels, and the new intro page is WAY TOO WIDE. I prefer to have my favourites open and pinned along the side of my screen, and even if I adjust the window width to make my favourites as small as possible, I still can't fit all of the introduction page on my screen.

The moment I can't navigate lj without scrolling sideways, there will be HELL to pay.

WTF, lj.

JUST STOP.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (...what?)
Dear Who fandom:

No, actually, physical sex IS NOT the same thing as gender.

Having the ability to change your body does not mean you can change your gender identity. (Of course, that's leaving aside any biological causative factors in gender identity; but you weren't thinking of that in the first place, right?)

In short: a female Doctor?

NO. JUST NO.

Yours,

Bean
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (LOL!)
My commentary on House fandom's [livejournal.com profile] elicia8 wank:


I knew that she was a huge fake all along. I mean, I gave her the benefit of the doubt...but I just had that sinking feeling, you know? I haven't been commenting to her journal lately because my workplace is trying to kill me I was really starting to feel manipulated, and I didn't like it.

I don't know why other people didn't notice it, too...it was really obvious that she was just Photoshopping screencaps.

For example:

The charcoal portrait of House is clearly a fake.

To prove it, I'll do the same thing.

Here's a basic screencap )

Here's the same cap run through a Photoshop filter )

...See how easy that is? I'm sure I could do an even better job with a program more advanced than Photoshop.

Also, the "scribblism" portraits?

TOTALLY a Photoshop filter. I'll post my examples of how that can be done just as soon as I figure out which filter it is.



IN CONCLUSION, 'tis a puzzlement how people don't think things through these days. I say they didn't get enough Sesame Street as kids.

On that note, have some Sesame Street! )
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (O RLY?)
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Finally. One of those idiotic "writer's block" things I ACTUALLY have an answer for.

Only problem is? The answer is, like, FREAKING DUH. /Valley Girl


Now I just need to wait on the one that asks the same thing regarding, say, a TV character. WHAT FUN.

Seriously, who comes up with these things?

UM NO.

Nov. 7th, 2007 02:29 pm
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (migraine-inducing)
Dear House Fandom:

It's bad enough that you referred to "CIA chick" as the woman with the "horrible fake tan" when the promos for this episode were running last week.

And spending your time this week saying she's "ugly," "skanky," "whorish," and similar for doing the same thing every other female on the show has done, i.e. flirt with House? DOES NOT WIN YOU POINTS, EITHER.

YOU.

OUT OF MY FANDOM.

Sincerely,

Bean
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (make it stop)
Since it was only two weeks ago, some of you may recall me posting about this House/Wilson slash author:

"I...had an accident."

I had no intention of sending people to pile-on when I posted that; I really just wanted to vent. And I felt sort of guilty for doing so, honestly, since it's really not my usual style to snipe at people in locked posts. As a general rule, I find that cowardly. If I have an issue, I take it up with that person, or post publicly, or say nothing.

As much as she annoyed me, I just wasn't willing to tell her that I thought her House and Wilson were way out-of-character when she'd already written 56 chapters. Whether or not it's professional to accept crit gracefully, I know I'd be crushed if I had that much invested in a story and was told that. And hey, a lot of people apparently enjoyed it regardless. She even seemed to clarify the drabble issue for me. So I was almost sorry I posted.


Well, I just went to [livejournal.com profile] house_wilson, and at the top of the page is a new post from her. It opens with this note:

(Okay, you all have nagged me, so I'm doing this the "correct" way. Apparently, people don't appreciate the possiblity of character death without being forewarned. Silly me, I thought this was just fiction.)

And her "disclaimer" reads:

Possible Character Death; Story not told in order of occurence

So: she's apparently unaware of what the disclaimer is actually for (despite the fact that I've seen her comments around for ages); she doesn't bother to spellcheck her posts; she's unwilling to clarify whether the damn character actually dies or not (does she know?); AND she's willing to mock someone's attachment to a fictional character that she's writing about.

And I'd be willing to bet that she probably figures she should be entitled to the same privilege published authors receive, and not have to warn for character deaths to protect the integrity of her story. Which would be well and good if it weren't for the fact that she's writing in FANDOM, where people can choose another story about the same characters if they don't like YOURS, and it's just courtesy to let people know what they're in for. (Or alternatively, can look forward to.)


JESUS. What a wanker.

I'd actually say something this time, but you know, I'm getting the distinct sense it would be futile.

Ugh.

Jun. 6th, 2007 06:02 pm
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (not cynical - things suck)
I got up at about 3:30 pm today.

Already had to add 3 new people to my Shit List.


Top o' the morn' to ya!

Humanity bites.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (Houseism - Captain Obvious)
I belong to a lot of communities - 121, to be exact. And I know of many more which I have never bothered to join, cannot join, or would prefer NOT to join which I pop into every now and then.

So I don't exactly keep up with all of them. Some I read obsessively, some I read on a semi-regular basis, some I wander through every once in a while to see what's up, and some I just "keep on hand."

Slow communities in particular I don't tend to keep up with. One of those is [livejournal.com profile] asthmatics, which has about 2-4 posts per month. More than half of those posts are of no interest to me. So I barely ever bother reading that community, although occasionally I check in and find something mildly interesting.

Today, I was reading back through the posts for the past four months or so, and found a post that opened with:

Hello everyone. My name is Sarah and I'm an asthmatic.

In a community.

For people.

WITH ASTHMA.


I'm currently experiencing "brain clog." It's characterized by a sense of BRANE 'ASPLODEY, and often a general inability to get words out straight.

It's caused by an overload of smart-ass remarks jumbling up in your head in response to overwhelming levels of MORON.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (*stress*)
If I don't post for a while (oh god, how many of my posts start like this?!), it's because I am having trouble typing. Heck...trouble using a computer. (Edit: Not like you can tell from the length of this entry. *eyerolls*)

The whole cut-my-finger-on-a-drink-lid thing? Where I got some hand-wrist hurtie like some sort of RSI?

Yeah, still have that. But it's gotten worse, and isn't leaving. It hurts from my armpits and shoulders down to my fingers on my right side. (And now, if I still have armpit pain from the ultrasound, I can't tell it apart anymore...if it IS apart. The timing is so close together, god knows what's going wrong now.)

First I bought an elastic wrist support when it hurt too much to let my wrist move freely. (And I was dropping people's food, which is generally considered to be a bad idea.) And then a brace, when it hurt too much to let my wrist move at all. And then a bigger, stiffer brace, because the smaller one didn't come far enough down my arm to cover all the main pain points. (Although the small one I can actually put on at work. Gloves even JUST fit over it, although I'm sure it's a comedy act to watch me try to roll burritos with it on.)

How do genuinely disabled people DO this? After one day of endless repetitions of, "What did you DO to yourself?" and disapproving/amazed looks at the brace, I was ready to CHOKE someone.

As I told my mother, the next person who asks me that gets told, "The batteries were dead."

So yeah...

Work yesterday was fun )

That's pretty much what's going on. I'm typing a lot by holding pens in my hands, and pressing the keys with them. And scrolling and whatnot as much as possible with "page up" and "page down," although for more precise scrolling I HAVE to use a mouse...I've got our rubber bottle-opener pad with me, and if I brush the scroll button with it, I don't have to move my hands much.

...This keeps up though, and I'll be pushing keys with my NOSE.

Things that do not seem to help significantly:

-elevation
-ice packs (maybe just because I can't feel it, it seems better, but the second my wrist warms up, it's as bad as before)
-Advil Liqui-Gels (I almost took the daily maximum yesterday, with no notable change)
-my asthma meds, which are corticosteroids (I had to take them anyway, I wasn't abusing them, but I DID watch for a change and saw none)

...And bracing basically only seems to help because movement hurts, and there's not much movement in a brace. Other than that...nothing's worked.

*sigh* Good thing I have a doc appointment tomorrow for the ultrasound report.

I think maybe I'll go try treating this with alcohol. You know, like vodka or something. Lots of vodka.


Before I go, though! I want to throw out a big e-shoutout to the asshole who BODYCHECKED me on the obviously-braced side so that he could beat me to the last seat on the C-train on the shaded side.

GO FUCK YOURSELF, ASSHOLE. I hope some little old lady "accidentally" hits you in the groin with her cane.


...I would also like to report that I can use a can-opener backwards, and I have new respect for the left-handed. Fear my skillz.
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (gloves off)
Dear twentytens )


That may just be the first time I've done that. (Can't remember!) What an annoying little booger. But wheee!
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (Default)
Okay. I know - and utterly HATE - that the computer labs are not guaranteed to be quiet areas. In fact, they're pretty much guaranteed to be the opposite of quiet.

But I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, that if the people in here don't stop picking up and putting down GLASS juice bottles on the tables, and chewing so loudly that I can hear it over my MUSIC,

I WILL SNAP. AND IT WILL NOT BE PRETTY AT ALL.


Edit: Oh great, now we have the loud idiot on his cell phone. Job search elsewhere, asshole!
beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (Default)
What a bitch of a weekend. I wish I could have spent it on lj instead of doing a silly astronomy project.


Buuut...no such luck. And what a yucky day it's been on that score. Really, if you need something done, do it yourself. The world proves this to me every day.

Ranting about stupid project group members )

So I sort of felt even worse when I saw Elena and Myles' observing report, but...god, it was so beautifully done. That's all Elena, the artist. She had everything printed up on nice stationary-type paper, with hand-drawn (and with Elena, that's saying something) title pages for each section, and little symbols for sub-sections. All that and it was bound like a book with a cover that Elena had painted herself - a little painting of she and Myles gazing up at the sky. It's just their backs, and Myles has his hands in his pockets and Elena is pointing upward.

It's just honestly beautiful, and the cover painting is touchingly whimsical.

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