beandelphiki: Animated icon of the TARDIS from the British television show, "Doctor Who." (I'm on SPEEED!)
[personal profile] beandelphiki
I'm sitting in a computer lab right now taking notes off a PowerPoint (oh god, horribly behind AGAIN - how does this HAPPEN??!), and I'm listening to the sound of typing happening all around me, and I had to stop to type myself. I don't really have anything TO type as of yet, but I felt the very desperate NEED to type something. So I am.

I think this, more than anything, demonstrates that typing has become my primary mode of written expression. Years ago, I would have been more likely to be typing and would have felt the desperate need to write something down by hand. Now I am so much more comfortable typing; I can nearly keep up with the flow of my thoughts this way, which is something I could never, ever manage to accomplish when writing by hand. My graphic motor skills are just too weak for me ever to print with any speed, and I cannot write in cursive at all.

(I don't know if this is good or bad for my RSI, since both typing and writing aggravate it. It's just something I'll have to deal with as I go along, but I think at this point typing is actually the better option because I'm more relaxed at it...AS LONG AS my workstation is physically suitable, and I take breaks.)

So by the time I get to a class which is very heavy on hand-written notes (i.e. med school, if that EVER happens, which I am doubting more and more each day), I am going to NEED a notebook computer to take notes on, or I'll never keep up.

Feeling a bit better now that I've typed a bit. I don't want to spam you guys, so I'll just add to this post behind a cut if I feel the strong urge to type some more.

Also, random note: all my mood icons will appear as red x's for a bit because falling asleep in front of Livejournal is really HELL on my bandwidth. (Which I've been doing a lot because our computer monitor is so buggered right now that it keeps dying on me every few minutes, which means I stay up much later trying to work in between it's little fits, which means I'm that much more tired, which means...UGH, FML.)


Topics to write type on:

The importance of a regular Dexedrine dosage to my academic success

Pretty sure at this point that my semesters start to go downhill as soon as I start to forget to take my Dex; or as soon as I DECIDE not to take my Dex (in order to conserve it, or because...I don't know, I'm stupid). If I had been keeping track of it, this would be easier to determine, but I don't think I'm likely to be successful at tracking it. I'm currently tracking 1) my period, 2) something a bit too personal to mention, and 3) I WAS tracking my diet, but that fell by the wayside. Plus, you know, assignments (to the best of my ability) and my work schedule. I think that's enough.

I have never before noticed that Dexedrine makes me wildly eager to do work (as it has apparently done for some ADHD people), but perhaps that is because I was really only taking it at work before (where I wanted to do the work ANYWAY). It has not helped me tackle my room all that much, but my room is a HUGE project again.

I noticed that without it, although I rationally know I have a lot of work to do, I'm unlikely to work on stuff. It just doesn't seem urgent. Within minutes of taking some Dex though, I'm burning with concern about my deadlines (which I can suddenly all remember and start mentally ordering). So it seems to me I would do better on a more consistent basis if I would just TAKE the damn stuff.

Thing is, lately I've REALLY been trying to avoid taking it. This is undoubtedly a bad idea, because I then have a greater tendency to fall asleep when I should be working (besides counteracting my natural tendency to fall asleep over mentally difficult work - thanks bunches, sub-aroused ADHD brain! - the long-term effect of taking a stimulant is you're more tired without it). Also, I don't work as well.

But I've noticed that some of my natural interest/motivation has returned from the dead - after I burned out at SAIT, I was essentially non-functional without some sort of chemical aid. It's nice to see that I can manage to work without drugs, and so I keep testing it, trying to get by entirely without.

SELF. This is STUPID. You can see for yourself (having just taken more notes in half an hour than you managed to take in DAYS last week) that Dexedrine really helps. Just because you CAN thrash along a bit again without your meds doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Okay. Now get back to work! Still tons more review for your chem test tomorrow, way behind on math, and you need to write up your prelab for the bio lab at five. Go, go, gadget pen!


Calibrated peer reviews again, or: Why the shit am I pretending to be an instructor again?/When the people marking your work are stupider than you are (but that's not a big switch is it?)

Coming, possibly. When I'm too bored for even the meds to handle.
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beandelphiki

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